This is for all of the idiots that LOVE to go to the movie theatre and have no idea how to act in a social setting. Here it is, DON'T TALK!!! It's sooo annoying to be in a movie and enjoying it (or sitting there, trying to figure out what's going on and why you spent money to see this movie in the first place) and there are people around you that are talking after every single line. Why do we need to know that that person acts just like the guy you just dated or that you do that ALL THE TIME!!! Come on people, we are in a social setting, we don't care about your personal lives.
To all the losers that laugh at the wrong parts! I know they are the wrong parts to laugh at because the person is crying (and not in a funny way). There are things that some may find humorous that others do not, this is fine, but PLEASE do not guffaw about it for the next ten minutes and continue to quote or act out what just happened on-screen. We all saw it, thought it was funny and moved on with our lives. Quoting the movie is what you do as you are walking out of the theatre. That's the time when you get to reflect on how great the movie was. It's a beautiful time to reminisce about all the beautiful and wonderful things that happened; it's not the time where you are only grateful that you never have to see those annoying people again in your lives! It's just sad how both the movie and the reflection time is ruined by some people's lack of courtesy.
So we get that the previews are there to get you to go see a new movie and it's going to happen (at least after one preview) where you lean to the person next to you and say, "That looks funny" or "I want to see that". It's going to happen, but when you announce to the entire theatre, "I'M WANT TO SEE THAT MOVIE!" It's not cute, it's not funny, people may laugh, but it's the "oh my gosh there is a crazy person in here" sort of laugh. It's AT you, not with you. And NO! The cute guy two rows in front of you is not going to turn around and ask you to see that movie with him because he wants to see it too, he's going to mock you with the person he is with. (And if he does ask you, there is something wrong with him, trust me.)
Oh yeah, CELL PHONES!!! Turn them off! The "polite" reminders right before the movie are not a suggestion. And if you think you can just text through the movie and it won't bother anyone because your not talking, YOU ARE WRONG!!! Every time you open up your cellphone the people around you are blinded. Sure, you think it's not that bright, but it is. When you are in a darkened theatre the light is distracting, annoying and makes you want to punch the person that feels they need to text someone constantly to feel alive.
So I'll admit now that I do say things during a movie, but seriously it's so whisper-y that I don't even think the person I'm directing it to actually hears me, they just smile and nod. So I probably should stop that because the smile and nod is the first clue that they are only appeasing you because you are their friend and to tell you to shut up would break some made up friend code, or something.
The only, ONLY time I ever talked loudly during a movie, in a theatre (at home, whatever, do what you want), was when by random, must have been a gift from the gods because this never happens, it was only me and my friend in the theatre. Yes, it was abandoned except for us and it was SO much fun. So fun, that I've often thought that when I was rich I would buy out entire theatres to see a movie like that again. Plus, it was a movie that was mutually talkable, and laugh, through because it was the 3rd new Star Wars movie where everything is digitally redone because actors shouldn't be allowed to blink during a serious scene anyway. If this lovely gift ever happens to you, by all means, do whatever you want, but otherwise calm down and enjoy the movie while respecting the other people in the theatre with you.
P.S. The movie that I just saw was He's Just Not That Into You and it was pretty good. Funny and enjoyable (despite the idiots behind me). There were story lines/actors I thought could be plucked out and it would be better, but what can you do?
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4 comments:
I'm a big fan of whispered comments. I am also a person that laughs at inappropriate moments because something I see will make me think of something funny.
My brain is like, "Hey, that is funny! Mouth, make a guffaw." And my mouth is like, "One guffaw coming right up." And then my brain is like, "Wait, don't laugh, those Nazis are taking that woman's child away from her." And my mouth is like, "Sorry, what was that? You caught me in the middle of a guffaw. Here comes another one." And my brain is like, "Nooooooo! No No NO!"
Also, from now on whenever I want to see a movie I am going to loudly announce "I'm want to see that movie!"
Two idiots behind me and one in front of me ruined The Dark Knight. Thank you for this post - it is greatly needed.
Interestingly, before I even saw which movie-going experience you were talking about, I was getting ready to tell you about how I agree with you on all accounts, except for how the other day-- during He's Just Not That Into You-- I DEFINITELY appreciated it when Courtney Pew, sitting next to me, said "SLUT." at the top of her voice when Scarlett Johansson said something particularly inappropriate and seductive. The entire audience laughed because she only said what all of us were thinking. I wasn't embarrassed at all.
The end.
I like sitting next to Joshuas whispered comments, they make me laugh. Of course those comments are always at home in front of the TV. I have some good movie theater people inappropriateness stories but it is too long and I am already tired of typing! Love ya!
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