Utah tried it's best to make me miserable this Christmas, but it didn't work. No sir. It's last kick to my pants came in a series of unfortunate events. I hate Utah.
I was finally done with finals, but had to stay up all night to complete them, woe to me. Joshua was quite perturbed upon finding out that I had no sleep the previous night because he wanted me to do most of the driving home. Him being upset with me made me sad and not happy, but then he said it would all be okay. I still knew that he would be angry, but what could I do? I had to finish those awful papers for stupid Anthropology that I hope for once and for all is out of my life. It's never sure until the grades come out (and if it were up to my t.a. they would never come, she was so unreliable).
I was so happy to turn in that paper and I did exceptionally well on my final test for Human Development that I was practically skipping to get money back for my books. The book for Anthro got me $10.00 (whatever, I'll take it) and then he announced that Human Development was getting me over $80!!! Then the nice man was corrupted by the spirit of Utah and asked where the c.d. that went with the book was? Ummm...CRAP!!! I left without my H.D. book money hoping that when I got home I would be able to find that stupid c.d. that comes with the book, but nobody ever uses because it's really not that useful.
I waited for Joshua to get out of his final and then HE got to sell back his books with no catches (Utah knew he would be coming back so it could make his life miserable later). Then he got his knitting books and we went home to pack the stuff in the car. I felt like both my brothers hated me because I had so much stuff. I could see it in their faces. "I hate Ashleigh, she has so much stuff. What an idiot. I hate her and her stuff. Let's burn it all and then it won't matter." I left stuff that I should have brought, but didn't (oh well, I'll get it later?) On a positive note - I found that stupid c.d.
So we finally are packed and I have to say goodbye to Kara and that was sad...
I'm feeling wide awake at the moment so I offer to drive for a little while and Joshua says alright. I get in and the wheel won't turn and I feel so stupid, but I turn it off and back on and we are on the road. I have to go get a pizza for the boys which is fine because we have to make so many pit stops before we leave, what's one more. We get the pizza and I can't see behind me and focus so hard on one thing while I'm pulling out that I don't see another and "crunch", there I go backing up and letting my front bumper scrape the door of the car next to me.
I am about ready to cry, but get the insurance and whatnot and go to talk to this girl who is wearing a blanket and smoking and swearing at me. (What did I ever do to you Utah?) I'm trying to explain that it will be alright, to give my insurance and everything, but she's making me so angry and upset. Then her friend comes out of the Pizza place and says it's alright and nothing looks damaged and to just leave it (I guess the car belonged to her). I was so happy to leave, but I didn't want to drive anymore, but I still had to.
We get to the BYU bookstore and I get my money, yay. Then we drop off some videos I rented from the Provo library, done. Finally we get gas and then we are on the freeway. I'm still upset and Andrew tries to make me feel better. He tells me to think about what's making me upset and whether or not I can do anything about it. I'm angry at him right then for trying to make me feel better when I just want to wallow in my misery, but then I realize that he is right and I try to move on and leave all my troubles in Utah. We eventually hit some fog and my eyes were doing funny things and I pulled over and let Joshua drive, excited to sleep and momentarily not think about everything awful.
Then it happens, we are out of Utah, but that doesn't make Utah happy so it sends all of it's troops down to Las Vegas (who knew they would unite to destroy me?) THE ROADS ARE CLOSED!!! We are stuck in Vegas. Woe to life. Woe to living. Just kill me now. I hate the snow so much, it needs to evaporate and never come back (snow death). Extra money was shelled out and we ate and slept.
Joshua thinks we should just leave the hotel without waiting for the all clear on the roads. Whatever, I start to drive. Then we hit the mile(ish) before Primm and we stop. I turn off the car on the freeway. We are stuck there for several hours...I'm so bored I start tattooing myself and then Andrew. When it finally clears we decide we are so hungry we get off at Primm to find food, but then we get stuck in this long line of trucks and never are able to get food and for about an hour we are getting off and then back on the freeway. Very productive.
Eventually we get somewhere with food and get fed and things start to go right. Which in my mind is only because we made it to California, home sweet home, and Utah can't touch us anymore. Stupid Utah, I will not miss you. There are things I will miss, but not you.
Quickly, things I'll miss: Kara and my roommies, my Pilches that I have become so close to, the people I work with, and my friends that I have gathered through classes and shows. Some of my classes and the professors in my major and some from my minor. My ward up there, the bishopric, the people. My friends at raintree, we had good times. Being about an hour away from Emily and going to Elizabeth's for Thanksgiving.
Things I'm happy to be home for: My friends and family down here. Being home for all of the holidays. Not going to school, at least for awhile. Being free from Utah.
So adieu Utah. You were the ultimate pain in my butt. This Phelps fan is checking out (until I have to see Kara get married and walk, but no more living there for me!)
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Gesundheit, now stop it.
One of my favorite things is sneezing. You lose control of your body for a split second, it contorts, your eyes close and explosion! It's very liberating and so much better than coughing. With coughing your throat gets all sore and unhappy, with sneezing you pirouette and cablooey! (Sometimes your nose runs, but dude, get a tissue.) I've always been fond of sneezing.
The only problem I have ever had with sneezing is when someone does not cover their spray. My Mom said that when she was working at an Elementary school she was walking behind this boy and it was foggy. Then the boy sneezed and didn't cover his mouth - sprayed all around him in about a 6 foot diameter (the fog helped my Mom see it.) So I've always thought that we just need to cover our mouth and sneezing would be an enjoyable experience, until recently.
Recently I've started to become annoyed with the process of sneezing. Not the individual there-is-dust-in-my-nose-got-to-sneeze thing going on, but the cultural sneeze-blessyou-thankyou thing! It's so annoying. I get it, the need to be polite and what not, but really? This all started when people would sneeze and think their soul was flying to the devil and the "God bless you" brought it back into your body. It was a nice thing people were doing for each other, constantly saving each other from hellfire and damnation. Such a nice thing to do. But I think our generation is far enough advanced that we know that sneezing is not your spirit escaping, just like taking a photograph of someone is not stealing their soul. (If that were the case we'd all be damned.)Also, my dog Molly chooses to pretend to sneeze to get our attention when we are eating so we'll give her food. It's clever.
But there are the people that just can't help themselves and sneeze and sneeze and sneeze. They sneeze once and you bless them. Then they sneeze again and you already blessed them and you don't know if you need to do it again. Does the first blessing cover them all? THEN they sneeze again (and again and again) and now you're thinking they are just getting greedy with all the blessings that are coming their way, but you are shackled to politeness and just keep blessing. Sometimes you can tell more are coming and you shut up until the end of their sneeze-fest and you bless them for all 20 sneezes. That may be the best solution to the multi-sneezer.
I've often thought that if you said "bless you" for a sneeze then you also should say something for a cough, just to be polite. Like "are you okay", "can I get you a lozenge" or "woah buddy, we just met, I don't want your germs." Those all would be appropriate and/or polite, but it doesn't happen. So we need to dispense with the "blessing people". We know their soul isn't escaping from their body (Aren't souls the good thing? Are we damning them by putting them back in their jail? Just a thought.) so let's get rid of these so-called polite habits and let people bless themselves if they need to. People excuse themselves when they burp, so they can bless themselves when they sneeze. Let them apologize and pray for themselves.
P.S. I'll probably still blessing people because I believe in karma and I feel that I will be screwed if I don't. So stop it people, and puppies, it's not cute and no one really wants to bless you. Bless yourself. (If I'm around I'll do it for you, but now you know I loathe you, your sinuses and your attention getting ploys.)
The only problem I have ever had with sneezing is when someone does not cover their spray. My Mom said that when she was working at an Elementary school she was walking behind this boy and it was foggy. Then the boy sneezed and didn't cover his mouth - sprayed all around him in about a 6 foot diameter (the fog helped my Mom see it.) So I've always thought that we just need to cover our mouth and sneezing would be an enjoyable experience, until recently.
Recently I've started to become annoyed with the process of sneezing. Not the individual there-is-dust-in-my-nose-got-to-sneeze thing going on, but the cultural sneeze-blessyou-thankyou thing! It's so annoying. I get it, the need to be polite and what not, but really? This all started when people would sneeze and think their soul was flying to the devil and the "God bless you" brought it back into your body. It was a nice thing people were doing for each other, constantly saving each other from hellfire and damnation. Such a nice thing to do. But I think our generation is far enough advanced that we know that sneezing is not your spirit escaping, just like taking a photograph of someone is not stealing their soul. (If that were the case we'd all be damned.)Also, my dog Molly chooses to pretend to sneeze to get our attention when we are eating so we'll give her food. It's clever.
But there are the people that just can't help themselves and sneeze and sneeze and sneeze. They sneeze once and you bless them. Then they sneeze again and you already blessed them and you don't know if you need to do it again. Does the first blessing cover them all? THEN they sneeze again (and again and again) and now you're thinking they are just getting greedy with all the blessings that are coming their way, but you are shackled to politeness and just keep blessing. Sometimes you can tell more are coming and you shut up until the end of their sneeze-fest and you bless them for all 20 sneezes. That may be the best solution to the multi-sneezer.
I've often thought that if you said "bless you" for a sneeze then you also should say something for a cough, just to be polite. Like "are you okay", "can I get you a lozenge" or "woah buddy, we just met, I don't want your germs." Those all would be appropriate and/or polite, but it doesn't happen. So we need to dispense with the "blessing people". We know their soul isn't escaping from their body (Aren't souls the good thing? Are we damning them by putting them back in their jail? Just a thought.) so let's get rid of these so-called polite habits and let people bless themselves if they need to. People excuse themselves when they burp, so they can bless themselves when they sneeze. Let them apologize and pray for themselves.
P.S. I'll probably still blessing people because I believe in karma and I feel that I will be screwed if I don't. So stop it people, and puppies, it's not cute and no one really wants to bless you. Bless yourself. (If I'm around I'll do it for you, but now you know I loathe you, your sinuses and your attention getting ploys.)
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