I've decided that I hate complimenting people. It feels as though when you compliment them they must not have lived up to your standards earlier in you knowing them.
I gave a compliment today and it went something like this. "You look so nice today!" Does this mean that other days they don't look nice? "I mean, really, really adorable." I'm totally digging my grave. "I just saw you and thought how cute you looked." I need to stop talking now. "Okay, bye, have a good night."
I felt like when I told her the she looked nice I had to qualify it like it was an insult. I felt that the "today" makes it seem as though I'm surprised they look nice, like they have never looked nice before. Yesterday? They didn't look bad...? Or did they? I had to open my mouth and tell them today they look good, but yesterday I guess not. It's absurd.
The most annoying thing is I felt I had to qualify myself in what I said even though it really shouldn't be something I need to stumble over my words to qualify. I felt so stupid. And I shouldn't feel stupid for paying a compliment.
Also, this brings up other awkward situations where someone gives you a compliment and then you feel like you should say something in response to them and you look them up and down trying to figure out what to say as a compliment back to them. While this is going on you have an awkward pause so they know that nothing about them actually stands out and that you are "rude". The little kids that we perform for will say nice stuff about our costumes and I always feel like I should say, "You're outfits pretty too!" But really? No! Everyone is wearing Hannah Montana, wearing it does not make you stand out as being special or worthy of a compliment. It's just awkward conversation.
Another awkward conversation is when you just pass someone while walking and you give them the nod and hello and they insist on asking how you are doing. Really? I'm already past you when you get the "you" of that sentence out of your mouth. I'm not going to respond with more than an okay, but when am I ever okay. Responses I have come up with: Breathing, alive, awake...etc. Anything is better than saying okay or good. I like pretending I never heard them in the first place and this especially works when I'm "listening" to my ipod. (I said I got my ipod so I can better enjoy my workout, but really it is so I can pretend I don't hear people when I clearly did.)
Rules to a perfect world:
1. I'm never going to pay any more compliments.
2. If you need to pay me a compliment (because I'm amazing) you will not get one in return, live with it.
3. When we pass a smile and nod is sufficient. If there must be verbal it will only be hi, hello, hey there...no questions.
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8 comments:
Wow Ashleigh, what an enlightening blog post. I mean, your blog posts are usually funny and clever but today ... um ...
Also: You should get a banana to plug your earbuds into. That way you can pretend like you didn't hear somebody say something and then they'll see the earbuds and feel foolish and then you can hold up the banana and kind of shrug as if to say you couldn't hear them. Then they will get really angry because they realized that you are actually a jerk.
Oh, by the way, how are you doing?
I kind of hate you Joshua.
When people ask me, "What's up?" I like to say, "The sky." I think it's pretty clever.
I think it is a mormon thing to have random strangers ask how you are doing while it is obvious they don't care. It happened all the time at BYU-Idaho. That sort of thing did not happen at Cal State Fullerton an does not happen at San Bernardino! It used to drive me crazy too!
So, last night a guy complimented me on my sweater. I said, "Thank you. I ... I've got nothing. Maybe your jacket is nice?"
Pretty awkward.
I kinda like the banana thing, that would be funny! I don't lik eit when I call people and after announcing who I am they say "hey, how are you?" I always want to mix it up by saying "pretty crappy thanks for asking!"
I ignored Keffords cousin at church cause I was not in the mood for conversation. They are in the ward before us and were getting out of church as we were getting out of sacrament meeting. I just walked on by pretending I did not see or hear, it was crowded so I think it worked....was that too rude? I did say hi the next time I saw her. Reminds me, I told her that her new haircut was cute to which she replied how much she hated it. SO then I had to keep on about how no really it looks good...sheesh. That is annoying!
Elizabeth brings up a good point. You can't ignore a person EVERY time you see them, as much as you would like to...
But you sure can try, and if they get offended, oh well, one less person to say hi to!
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