One of my favorite things is sneezing. You lose control of your body for a split second, it contorts, your eyes close and explosion! It's very liberating and so much better than coughing. With coughing your throat gets all sore and unhappy, with sneezing you pirouette and cablooey! (Sometimes your nose runs, but dude, get a tissue.) I've always been fond of sneezing.
The only problem I have ever had with sneezing is when someone does not cover their spray. My Mom said that when she was working at an Elementary school she was walking behind this boy and it was foggy. Then the boy sneezed and didn't cover his mouth - sprayed all around him in about a 6 foot diameter (the fog helped my Mom see it.) So I've always thought that we just need to cover our mouth and sneezing would be an enjoyable experience, until recently.
Recently I've started to become annoyed with the process of sneezing. Not the individual there-is-dust-in-my-nose-got-to-sneeze thing going on, but the cultural sneeze-blessyou-thankyou thing! It's so annoying. I get it, the need to be polite and what not, but really? This all started when people would sneeze and think their soul was flying to the devil and the "God bless you" brought it back into your body. It was a nice thing people were doing for each other, constantly saving each other from hellfire and damnation. Such a nice thing to do. But I think our generation is far enough advanced that we know that sneezing is not your spirit escaping, just like taking a photograph of someone is not stealing their soul. (If that were the case we'd all be damned.)Also, my dog Molly chooses to pretend to sneeze to get our attention when we are eating so we'll give her food. It's clever.
But there are the people that just can't help themselves and sneeze and sneeze and sneeze. They sneeze once and you bless them. Then they sneeze again and you already blessed them and you don't know if you need to do it again. Does the first blessing cover them all? THEN they sneeze again (and again and again) and now you're thinking they are just getting greedy with all the blessings that are coming their way, but you are shackled to politeness and just keep blessing. Sometimes you can tell more are coming and you shut up until the end of their sneeze-fest and you bless them for all 20 sneezes. That may be the best solution to the multi-sneezer.
I've often thought that if you said "bless you" for a sneeze then you also should say something for a cough, just to be polite. Like "are you okay", "can I get you a lozenge" or "woah buddy, we just met, I don't want your germs." Those all would be appropriate and/or polite, but it doesn't happen. So we need to dispense with the "blessing people". We know their soul isn't escaping from their body (Aren't souls the good thing? Are we damning them by putting them back in their jail? Just a thought.) so let's get rid of these so-called polite habits and let people bless themselves if they need to. People excuse themselves when they burp, so they can bless themselves when they sneeze. Let them apologize and pray for themselves.
P.S. I'll probably still blessing people because I believe in karma and I feel that I will be screwed if I don't. So stop it people, and puppies, it's not cute and no one really wants to bless you. Bless yourself. (If I'm around I'll do it for you, but now you know I loathe you, your sinuses and your attention getting ploys.)
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6 comments:
my senior year of high school, my friend and I had a discussion about how we said "bless you" for sneezing but never said anything for coughing or hiccuping or anything of the sort. so, we started saying "mud pie" after people coughed. just to be polite. :)
also, my german friend, instead of saying "geshundteit" (which means you wish the person health) would say "Schönedteit" (which means you wish the person beauty). totally awesome. you sneezed? well, I wish you were more beautiful. :)
that is all.
You might also consider the relative blessing: "Curse everyone but you." Comparatively they're better off.
Also: I think it is funny when Molly sneezes.
I have never seen Molly do the sneeze thing. What a little smartie dog!
I don't do the whole bless you thing when people sneeze. It annoys me and I don't like to do it. So maybe Karma is after me but really...it's a little lame.
Gross what happened to Mom I don't remember her telling me that, if she did I would still be gagging, which is what I am doing now..thanks alot Ashleigh!
I have been getting the hiccups a lot this year. My kids announce it to me when I hiccup...just in case I wasn't aware of it I guess. Hey, Miss Lutes, you're hiccuping! Why thank you little one...I know. Once they were arguing with me telling me that I was faking it. Really? Finally one little guy comes up to me and starts shaking his hands and arms in my face and yells boo at me. I was nice and pretended to be scared and do you know what? The hiccups stopped. Amazing!
I usually say "God bless you" when someone sneezes. I really do not like doing it but I do it because society has said it is the nice thing to do.
Dane Cook had a funny conversation with a sneezing Atheist.
Good stuff.
I hate it when people don't cover there mouths it is sooo nasty. Molly is too smart and after she sneezes she stares with her puppy dog eyes. She usually gets what she wants. I bless people when they bless me. Give them a little something back for their effort.
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