That Girl Called Merle

Do I look weird?

2011-12-07T02:40:00.001-08:00

This commercial makes me laugh EVERY time I see it!!!

I had to at least try to be as awesome as this guy. You should too and then share it with me.

Also, I dyed my hair. K, thanks, bye.

24 is a Bore

2011-12-01T19:04:00.001-08:00

I've been 24 for a few weeks and already this year of my life is bumming me out. I just don't think I have anything that will top the excitement of last year.

Let's take a look back at a few of the awesome things I did last year...

* I performed in Cinderella. Not only was I singing and dancing (waltzing!), but I got to do puppetry and dress up like a bunny footman!!! SOOO MUCH FUN!!!

* I wrote a thesis. What, what?!? That's right, I wrote a thesis and it was printed on 100% cotton paper and bound with my name on the spine. It took me forever researching and writing. I even pulled a few all-nighters to make it all wonderful and delightful. So now you can go to California State University, San Bernardino's library and find a book written by me. Oh yeah, it's called 'Influences of Morality in Theatre for Children'. Yeah, pretty awesome.

* I went to the Oregon Shakespeare festival and saw 6 shows. My absolute favorite was Julius Caesar. It was the best! I loved the entire experience. Also, the actors weren't too bad to look at either...

* I did an internship where I Assistant Directed/Stage Managed the Jurupa Stake's production of The Trail of Dreams. If you haven't heard of it, or if you weren't tricked into coming by me it is a totally awesome pioneer musical written by James Arrington, Marvin Payne, and Steven Kapp Perry. Totally legit. We were able to make a recording of it so if you ever want to see it...trust me, it's worth it.

* I GRADUATED!!! What is awesomer than that? I am now Master Merle. Ah yeah. I graduated from CSUSB with a Master of Arts in Theatre Studies: Theatre for Young Audiences. Holy mackerel. Now what? (I dunno.)

* My sister and I did a Survivor 5k Mud Run! It was the funnest thing ever. When I get all of the pictures I'll try to do a post with them. They are pretty humorous. This mud run was dirty, exhausting and SO MUCH FUN!!! When we crossed the finish line, in 1 hour and 9 minutes thank you very much, I was ready to sign up again. We climbed, swam, ran, slid, crawled and more through all of the obstacles and it was so great.

So yeah, those are some pretty big and amazing things that went down and all I've done so far, at the age of 24, is learn how to crochet (I'm pretty good at it too. I hope everyone wants crocheted doo-dads for Christmas). I sound like I went from 23 to 83. Yuck. I need to go skydiving or something. Any suggestions in making this a year of awesomeness?

Tangled

2011-08-16T16:04:00.000-07:00

I have not had my hair cut (except for a few trims) for about 3 years. It was time. So I talked to one of my friends at work about cutting it all off and donating it to locks of love. The next day (today) I went over to her house and it all went down. I was/am so excited about my new short hair. I loved my long hair, but I got tired of it and in a couple of years I'll have it back again so no big deal.

In all we cut off and are donating 13 inches. HOLY MACKEREL!!!

Locks of Love,
Merle

Merle meets Templeton

2011-05-15T22:10:00.000-07:00

Little Miss Merle Girl
Got in the shower
To wash all her cares away.
She soon saw a spider
Way up in the corner
And said Templeton would be his name.

Little Templeton was daring
And certainly brave
But had little sense in his brains.
He came down to see Merle
Against all her warnings
And soon was hit be some sprays.

Little Miss Merle Girl
Wept for her new friend
Because he was stuck to the wall.
He was now octopalegic
And she couldn't help him
She would be late to work at the mall.

Little Miss Merle Girl
Went to the bathroom
To check on her friend in the shower.
He wasn't there anymore
But crawled up beside her
Presenting her with a flower.

"Little Templeton Sir,
How are you here?
I saw you held wet to that wall."
"Little Miss Merle Girl,
Evaporation dear.
Got me back on eight, no time at all."

(I'm now friends with a spider named Templeton!)

That Squirrel Called Merle

2010-12-14T01:21:00.000-08:00

So this past quarter for school I have been super busy and it's mostly because I was in the show Cinderella, which I loved! I had such a good time playing dress up, dancing and making so many friends. Seriously, I love to waltz. It's kind of the best. Why did it ever go out of style? Sad.

Anyways, since I was part of the ensemble I got to run around doing different roles and having fun. All of my characters were different levels of cluelessness, which is always quite amusing. Also, since I had experience during puppetry I got to manipulate the cutest squirrel ever put together at the beginning of the show and work the horse that pulled Cinderella in the carriage to the ball. Since I got such an amazing job I also got to dress up as a Rabbit/Footman. Which is basically all this post is about. I loved being a bunny! The outfit, the dance, the extra arm (so people thought my hand was behind my back instead of in the horse's head, shhh...) I loved it all. Except for my upper lip being worn and torn by the whiskers. That wasn't as fun, but it got better and wasn't as bad towards the end of the run. Anywho...I wish everyone could have seen it, but here is the cutest picture I've taken in a while... (maybe ever?)

Santa Claus is Coming...

2010-12-08T01:35:00.000-08:00

As I headed to work the other day I saw Santa Claus walking towards me. Last year when I saw Santa walking in a mall I wanted to body slam him to the ground. This time I got anxious and sick to my stomach and prayed he wouldn't talk to me, smile at me or even look in my direction. Is this a guilty conscious?

I told a friend about this reaction as opposed to the reaction I had last year and we started to analyze it, but never quite finished. What we got from the two scenarios was that when I wanted to hurt Santa he had his back towards me and when I was caught like a reindeer in Rudolf's nose (headlights - sorry I had to) he was coming toward me. I guess I am more apt to attack an unsuspecting old man and throw up when he looks at me. I have a bright future ahead of me.

Fight or flight? Depends...I'll be a warrior until I see that twinkle in the eye.

Screwged

2010-12-05T09:19:00.000-08:00

Yay, it's December! I love this month. So many things to do, gifts to buy, family to see, weather to complain about... It's the best!!!

December is also the time (and the only time) I find it good to listen to Christmas music. None of this listening to it in September and October. That's just ridiculous. You still have a few holidays to go through before Christmas. I hate when I am trying to look for Halloween paraphernalia and I have to pass several Christmas aisles to find the aisle of the holiday that is two months prior! Also, if stores could stop playing the darned Christmas music until after we've savagely eaten turkey and pies and cranberries and the likes I would be a much happier shopper.

Anyways, I digressed. I am happy that it is December and I am now in the mood to listen to Christmas music. Yay! Except I don't have my Christmas music. Not so yay... It's all on the computer that I used to purchase the music off iTunes, which is currently broken under my bed and replaced with a smaller, cuter, non-broken version. I just don't understand why iTunes doesn't transfer the songs that I purchased from them. I get that they don't want to transfer the songs I uploaded from cds. Fine, I have to put them on again, but whatever. BUT I PURCHASED THEM FROM THEIR SITE AND ADDED MY ITUNES ACCOUNT TO MY NEW COMPUTER!!! What is going on. I hate them for not letting me listen to the songs I purchased for last Christmas during this December. My only hope is my super smart computer savvy brother can pull them from the depths of my other computer and restore them to listening awesomeness. Even if he can I'll already have wasted 2 weeks of the only month of the year in which it is acceptable to listen to them. Stupid iTunes. Stupid music. Stupid Christmas. Bah Humbug!

Sober...Abstinent...Clean...

2010-11-02T10:29:00.000-07:00

In rehearsal last night a few people were talking about their weekend. I was sort of listening, but not really because it really wasn't interesting what they were saying. I tuned in again when they were looking for another way to say "straight-laced". Essentially they were trying to find a way to describe a person that doesn't drink, smoke or have sex. I thought about it for a second, turned to them and said, "Mormon".
I still can't think of a what they probably were looking for, but I think I got pretty close.

The Girl Who Lost a Shoe

2010-10-05T23:15:00.000-07:00

Another semester has started and I was not sure as to how I felt about going back to school. I'm terrified because I really have to start doing my thesis. Seriously, it's terrifying. So far I have been able to get someone to agree to be my Thesis Advisor and now I have two others on board for my committee. I've done a good job so far. I've completed about 5% of the work. Maybe that's being a little generous...oh man. I have so much to do!
I was not looking forward to my Creative Dance in the Classroom Class, but thought Creative Drama in the Classroom sounded alright. I was planning on auditioning for the fall show and if I could get in I would be able to drop one class. Which one, which one. I found out that Creative Drama was not in the afternoons, but was instead going to be held at night, when rehearsals would be. What?!? Yeah, I know. If I was able to make the show I would have to remain in Creative Dance. Blech.
The day has arrived. I make it to the first day of school and get to Creative Dance, late! Why? Because everyone and their best friend's cousin's aunt were arriving at school at the same time and clogging up University Ave. Whatever, I made it. What more do you want. So Creative Dance. We go over the syllabus. I'm going to be writing more lesson plans. YAY! Ugh. I don't know why I hate them so much. I see how they are totally useful when you want to teach, but I hate writing them for class because then you more than likely will have to take your class through some or all of what you planned. I know working with kids will be harder than working with these adults, but the way the adults act. It is sometimes almost patronizing. "Oh, your lesson plan is for a 6 year old? Let me act as crazy as possible because all 6 year olds will do this." Stupid.
Then we start moving. Okay. I honestly hated this class, but I LOVE IT! I love being about to jump around and play and move and stretch and we are learning too. Fancy that! So I'm glad that if I drop something it is not this class. That would make me sad. I'm still not happy about the lesson plans though. Yuck.
So between my first class and my audition I have 6 hours of nothing. I'm rehearsing the song that Jennifer helped me find the day before and I keep forgetting the harmony. I just have to drill it in. But I can't do that for 6 hours. Honestly, I can't remember what I did. It all goes by in a blur. But I finally make it to audition for Cinderella about an hour early and that's because I dawdled. I get my audition number...1. Because I'm obviously the first one there. And I keep going over my song in my head and hope that I look nice enough to be impressive.
We go into the cattle call auditions and sit and I'm totally intimidated by everyone watching each other audition. I'm good at impressing a couple of people, but everyone? Forget about it. So I get called up and start to sing. La la la, all going well, where am I? What am I doing here? What are the words? Oh yeah, la la, oops there they go again. Oh man, it's the end of the verse. LA LA LAAAA!!! I actually sang words (when I remembered them) not just la'd. HORRIFYING! I just sat down and listened to everyone else perform. I couldn't help comparing myself to them. How come no one else forgot their words? Well a guy did, but he's not competition. I was screwed. Then we took a fifteen and got ready to dance. I was excited to get out of the heels and put on my flexible shoes. I changed and looked, but what is this? One shoe. That's right, you may think it prophetic that I was missing a shoe while auditioning for Cinderella. I didn't find it amusing at the moment though. I had to dance in characters shoes. Not as comfortable, but it could have been worse.
I get through the song(sort of) and dance and the waiting begins. The next day callbacks went up, but I wasn't on them. That doesn't mean I was cut, but it didn't look like any solos. I had to wait the entire weekend. Do you know what that does to a person? Relaying their not so finest audition moment in their head, over and over and over and over...and over again. Pure torture. I finally call on Monday to see if the cast list is put up and the girl asks for my name and says that I'm part of the ensemble! Huzzah! Then I start thinking that she probably heard my name wrong and when I get down there for the read through everyone will look at me in pity for thinking I was good enough to get into the show. Sad, pathetic girl.
Thankfully I was actually part of the cast and have been rehearsing my butt off for the past couple of weeks. It's tons of fun singing, but even more fun dancing. We've been waltzing mostly, but have done a few days of gavotte-ing as well. I'm excited. I love being a part of a cast again. I've missed it.
So I dropped my Creative Drama class and am happy to keep my Creative Dance class. I also I going to a Yoga class to kill an hour of my now 7 hour break between Creative Dance and rehearsals. It's delightful. I love my teacher. He's cute. It's looking like it will be an action packed semester. I guess forgetting a shoe in the car isn't that bad when you get to have this much fun.

Seeing Red

2010-07-30T13:35:00.001-07:00

Okay, so I've realized in my life that I am not the greatest with money, but I also not the worst. I'm getting better and by looking up my account online every few days I am able to keep myself in check because I realize how much money I do not have and then I don't spend any. Sounds simple enough, but trust me, I'm a little (maybe a lot) stupid sometimes.

But boy was I surprised to see a charge to my account for $26.16 from Redbox. The convenient little one-day movie rental kiosk. I had definitely not taken out that many movies at once and realized that someone had stolen my number and used it to rent movies! I felt sick and had to go to church feeling all sad for myself and my lost money.

I thought about it all through church and got hit in the face with realization - OH...MY...GOSH...Had I returned that last movie? Surely I had. I had about 4 hours between my classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays and would often go down rent a movie and watch it in the library and then return it, buy myself some dinner and go back to school. This was so routine that I didn't know how I could have not done it. I tried desperately to think about the last movie I rented and what I had done during that day. Seeing how it was almost a month before it was really difficult, but I kept getting the sick feeling that I lingered on campus reading outside, by my favorite tree. STUPID, STUPID, STUPID.

When I came home, I was lost in the confusion of people being over and whatnot and momentarily forgot about the horror of my life. When it finally smacked me again I rushed to my room and in the only pocket I NEVER USE of my backpack (why are there sooo many pockets?) I felt the hard case of a movie I had never returned and paid greatly for. So now I own this movie and have the stupid Redbox case that will not look good with the rest of my movies. I wish that they would kindly send the real movie case to me seeing as how I paid for it and then some and I would most certainly return their dumb case.

Sometimes, I'm an idiot.

For the People I Miss..

2010-06-20T00:31:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had a dream where you see someone that you haven't seen for a long time and that you desperately miss? I do sometimes and I can never figure out if it's something worthwhile to have. Because I see this person and whether I run to them and give them a huge hug that lasts forever, talk for a while or just sit casually beside them, it isn't quite right. When I wake up and they aren't there I sometimes hate my subconscious for mocking me and saying, "Look what you don't have, haha." But sometimes, sometimes I hold onto it and mix it with the real memories I have with this person. Sometimes it's really great to have, especially if that's all I can have at the moment.

This just happened...my throat hurts.

2010-06-06T23:41:00.000-07:00

Andrew
YOOOOOOU

Me
Why I oughta!

Andrew
Bring it shorty.

Me
I'll bite your kneecaps off.

Andrew
If you can reach that high!

Me
Don't worry. I always carry my trusty step ladder. I'll take you down gigantor!

Andrew
I will beat you up short stack!

Me
I may be little, but I am scrappy.

Andrew
More crappy than anything.

Me
Oops you stepped in it. Sucks to be too tall to see your feet.

Andrew
Sucks to your assmar.

Me
Wah!

Andrew
Exactly.

Me
But...
But I don't have assmar.

Andrew
Your about to get punched in the throat!
Andrew is offline.

Oh Poppet!!!

2010-04-15T15:08:00.000-07:00

Check this out...(CAUTION: It's kind of sad)

This is probably the saddest thing I have ever seen. Could you imagine realizing that your whole world is finely manipulated? Poor little guy.

Now to make us happy again...

At least this made ME giggle.

Much of Muchness

2010-03-07T20:14:00.000-08:00

Here are some things I pondered while watching Alice in Wonderland...

* I look cute in glasses. Very cute.

* I LOVE Johnny Depp, Tim Burton, Danny Elfman and Lewis Carroll. I am envious of anyone and everyone that gets to work with them.

* I don't have the right nose for glasses. They keep falling down and I have to nerdily push them up. I'm not sure if this was because I skewed it while in a mosh pit Freshman year, but it's crooked AND glasses fall, these must be related.

* My head is wider than the average persons. I'm thinking that the 3D glasses are made for the average persons cranium and not mine. The spot where the stem hit the right side of my head over the ear started to hurt. So sad.

* When I get married and have my twin boys I will name them Derek and Demetrius. Then I will get them good and chubby so they will be my fat boys. (I shall also refer to them as Tweedle Derek and Tweedle Demetrius.)

* I'm actually fine with 3D movies. I thought that I hated all of them because of the ones that I have seen. What I found out is that I just hate the 3D movies that constantly throw things at you. SO ANNOYING!!! (Now if they would make contacts instead of glasses to watch them...)

* I know why I like staying for the credits. It's my time to digest the movie and what just was presented before anyone has a chance to talk to me about it. It is a good time for reflection. (Also I love reading everyone's names and finding the most ridiculous one's to read out loud.)

* I love the Alice in Wonderland stories. They are delightful and entertaining.

* Stupid people should be banned from attending the theatre. This definitely includes the people that bring their children (especially babies!) to see movies after 8pm. PUT THE KIDS TO BED IDJITS!!!

* I like the word idjits.

* Maybe a pig would be a good pet if it would keep my feet warm.

* Mom says bagel funnily...hehehe!

* I always giggle when Heather burps.

Saving Santa

2009-12-15T21:36:00.000-08:00

I was walking in the mall the last week and I saw the place where people come take pictures with Santa. Santa wasn't in his oober plush chair, but was walking away with security to probably take a smoking break or something. When I saw him leaving I felt the urge to run up to him and body slam him. Taking down the old man seemed like the most logical thing to do. Sometimes I think I should act on these aggressive urges I have instead of pushing them aside to look normal on the outside. That's all.

(Santa totally deserved to be tackled. I'm just saying.)

One Year Older and Still Acting My Moccasin Size

2009-11-13T21:06:00.000-08:00

Tuesday was my birthday and let me tell you it was delightful!

Earlier in the year I wondered what day of the week my birthday would land on ad when I saw that it would be a Tuesday I was so happy. Tuesday is my favorite day of the week. There are many things to celebrate about Tuesdays. You can eat as many tacos as you want on Tuesdays and people can't complain. It's Taco Tuesday and that's the rule. Taco's on Tuesday or no dessert for you.

When I would travel with the rest of the Pilch's for the traveling Shakespeare show Pericles I would insist on Taco Tuesdays. They started off all enthusiastic about it and then they realized that I meant every Tuesday. (Well, DUH!) There were grumbled complaints, especially since we only toured Tuesdays and Thursdays, but I pretended I didn't hear and continued the jubilant enforcement of Taco Tuesday. YAY! Now, all those complainers will sometimes get together on a Tuesday for tacos with out me. They do it on purpose to make me feel left out. Whatever, this Bitty doesn't even care, so take that!

For whatever reason when I started Grad school this past September I decided it would be a grand idea to put classes on Tuesday and Thursday and then the rest of my week would be totally free and I wouldn't have to travel all that way to school so much. Best idea ever! Then, about Octoberish, I realized that I had to go to school ON MY BIRTHDAY! WHAT?!? I know! Worst idea ever!

What's the other great thing about Tuesdays? Me, it's me! I was born on a Tuesday YAY!!! So this is how my birthday went. I woke up and got sung "Happy Birthday" to outside the bathroom door by mom and Heather. Heather hoped I was on the toilet. HAH! Showed her, I had already moved on to checking myself out in the mirror. They had cinnamon rolls and orange juice for breakfast. D-E-LICIOUS! Then I had to go to class. Blah! You're probably wondering why I didn't just ditch. 1. I have a hard time doing that. I can sleep through class, sure, but just not show up? Scandalous! 2. We had to do some class participation stuff. Theatre classes you really need to be there because it's never just taking notes. They always make you participate.

I went to class and participated. I'm kind of adverse to group work because everyone else isn't as smart as me. I know this because if they were as smart as me they would be doing what I think they should be doing and not question my great ideas. I live in a world of stupids. They show up in every group I am. It's tragic really. This group wasn't as stupid as most because it took them only a little while to realize that I was worth listening to and we accomplished things so much quicker. Maybe there's hope (but probably not).

Then I drove to Disneyland and met mom and Heather there. Oh man, was that fun. I got to choose whatever we were to do because it was my birthday. Usually I hate being the one to make decisions, but I knew this was coming and had mentally prepared myself for it. We went on Peter Pan, which wasn't as smooth sailing as it used to be. Also, it was very dark. Next was Pirates of the Caribbean. It was quite bumpy at the loading area. I almost rumbled out of my seat. (I didn't because I was in the middle, but Mom splashed out of the boat and in the wet water. She wasn't pleased. Nor were we. What was she thinking? The boat behind us fished her out and now she lives with them.) It was darker in this ride too! Then we went on Haunted Mansion which had all of the Nightmare Before Christmas stuff everywhere and was delightful. I love it mucho, especially when you get in your "DOOOOMBUGGY" and the creepy guy is instructing you to stay seated and then the funny spanish speaking guy says, I presume, what the creepy voiced guy just said, but in a funny spanish voice. Not scary at all. Keep those dos manos inside the "DOOOOMBUGGY"! This ride was dark too, what is the DEAL Disneyland? Are you using those stupid energy saving lights that take forever and a day to brighten so by the time the park closes they are almost to full brightness? What a stupid idea going green is sometimes.

I wanted to go on the Winnie the Pooh ride because they sing happy birthday. It's to Pooh, but we pretend it's for the birthday individual. It would have been me this time! But alas, it had a sticky situation and I was not sung to by pre-programmed animatronic characters. It could have been a horrible day...BUT I had gotten Disney dollars to spend in the park and I purchased a lovely pair of moccasins that I had my eye on for months! HUZZAH!!! They are quite comfortable.

Throughout the day family and friends sent their "happy birthday"'s to me. I was quite popular, for the most part. Erin finally came and we chowed down on delicious food. Not tacos. What? But it was a Tuesday! I know, we had Birthday Taco's the night before so unclench your buttocks and move on. It was my birthday and I made a rule that since we were celebrating it for a couple days anyway might as well treat it as one looong day, with 8 hour naps scattered here and there. I got a cupcake for dessert, mmm-hmmm.

We had to leave about this time because I had to drive all the way back to school for my night class and Erin and mom were going to catch a flight to Utah. Why they would chose such a destination to go to on MY BIRTHDAY of all days. It's not that they left on vacation on my birthday, but that they chose Utah. If they were going to, say, Djibouti I wouldn't be angry because: 1. It has an awesome name and 2. It isn't Utah. I shall get over it eventually. It's just the principle of the thing!

Getting to class was so awful. I was stuck in traffic and was 25 minutes late to class. Oh the shame! I hate being late to places. But I was able to learn some stuff while I was there anyways so it wasn't too bad. When I left that night I started to feel sick (lightheaded and dizzy) and was scared to drive home. I told Heather I may not make it. I put my sweatshirt on and put the AC on my face and it helped me feel better and so I made it home in safety. Thank goodness! That would be tragic to die on my Birthday! The people who ignored me on that day would have felt mighty awful, now wouldn't they? (You know who you are and so do I!)

When I went to bed I felt oober sick again and put a cold dishcloth on my face to help me fall asleep. It helped cool me down, but it didn't help me not think about dying. Oooh boy. Whenever I get sick I think I'm going to die, because I don't get really sick that often. I was thinking about how I don't have a will. What was I doing at my now old age without a will? So I started going through my head who would get what of what I owned and believe me was this hard to do! Some of the things went easily to people, but then I thought of someone that I should probably leave something for, but I didn't have anything that they would want or need. It put into perspective how much of my stuff wasn't worth beans. I was going to write down what I would give to people here, but then I don't want people to feel insulted if I forgot to give them something or forgot what I had intended to give them (I was sleepy, it happens) AND I especially don't want people to kill me just to get my stuff. I may create a hidden will someday, but for now I feel that the only way to remain un-murdered is to keep my will in my head so that if you kill me you won't know what you get. Done and done!

Thanks for all the "Happy Birthday"'s! Love you all!

Who gets to thrust these people down to hell? That might be a good job...

2009-09-05T23:44:00.000-07:00

Today was a pretty good day. My hours for work were cut because the store didn't make enough money this week to keep them. However, a couple hours after I should have started they called and asked if I wanted to come in and get some of those hours back. Of course! I went in and it made me feel slightly happier with the world.

Work was good. I was able to be on the register and in the fitting room for a while, which are the places I like to work the best. I was on the register being happy and helpful and going as fast as I could so that the customers were happy. Seriously, I thought about how I doing pretty alright even though there were like a zillion sales going on. I was keeping up for the most part.

Then it happened. I realized that many sales back something bad had happened. I remember this lady and her daughter so well. I was so nice to them and tried to help them as happily and quickly as I could. It was later that I found out that they had cheated the store AND me. I'm not going to say exactly what happened, but all you really need to know is they lied and basically stole.

I honestly couldn't believe it had happened and talked to the head cashier and a manager about it and we all concluded that this lady had screwed the system AND me. What a horrible person. There really wasn't anything we could have done about it. I mean this was a tricky scam, but don't think that I will be duped twice. NO SIR!!! This will never happen to me again. I know what to look for and will spot this scam from a mile away. Forsure.

The head cashier said that I shouldn't worry about it and asked if I was mad. I should have been mad. But no. When it came down to it I felt betrayed. You know that feeling when you have been lied to? That was it. I couldn't believe that someone could do something like that. I don't know how people feel justified doing something like that. I can't even fathom doing something like that. Never. My manager said that this was because I was raised right. I'm glad I have a good family because these people may think they have a good life, but really they must feel so empty. I feel bad for that lady, but I feel worse for her daughter that was right there learning from her mother's bad behavior.

People feel that they are screwing the man when they steal from stores especially big companies. They must feel that the company doesn't need the money and they can afford to lose some money to them. That's not true. Who it really screws is associates like me that have hours cut because the store is not making the money is should be making. Honestly, this pay period has not been happy for me because of people like this lady who have been stealing from the company I work for. When the store loses money they have to cut back on hours and so those people that actually do an honest days work lose out on opportunities to work. So now I am mad that these people who feel they have the right to steal, and even do it for a living, have taken away my opportunity to get paid. I don't appreciate it. I will never forget that ladies face and feel I have the right to kick her in the teeth if I ever see her again.

Good energy flowing in from the South-West, take heed.

2009-08-04T00:11:00.000-07:00

I've been sleeping sooo restlessly these past couple of days. I can't stand not being able to lie down and automatically fall asleep. How do other people do it? Maybe I need a new bed time ritual. Maybe I just need a new bed. I'm thinking the latter.

I've never been a normal sleeper, I don't think. I move around A LOT!!! People have told me that they feel sorry for my husband when I finally do get married. I don't blame them; I feel sorry for my poor future husband. I've always looked at the whole Lucy/Ricky relationship as ideal (I mean it!) They are totally loving husband and wife, but they get their own beds! How awesome is that? I'm sure there were some nights that they pushed them together. They had a kid for goodness sake. But honestly, I've always considered that as being the perfect solution for my married life. Is that sad?

I'm not sure what position I tend to stay in sleeping. I feel that I am 70% side sleeper. But it's more of a twisty pretzel side sleep; hard to explain. But then there are nights where stomach sleeping is delightful or I need to be on my back. Pillows under my head, pillows under my legs, no pillows at all. It's kind of ridiculous sometimes the amount of positions I try before I can fall asleep. And then, I guess I keep trying to get comfortable throughout the night because I move sooo much. Slightly annoying (and that's me thinking that, could you imagine what my husband would say? It would probably be more than slightly). I thought that I would grow out of it, because that is what people said, so that by the time I was ready to get married I wouldn't get my husband out of bed (on accident). By this rate of growing out of it I won't get married until I'm 50. Forreal.

Then there is the whole trouble of directions. I feel that my body has this weird inner compass that only lets me sleep when my head is pointing the right way. Whether it's north, south, east or west. I'm not joking. This is a serious problem. Lately I've been sleeping with my head going South East, but last night I could not fall asleep for the life of me. I thought it was because I was sick so I got up and took some medicine and went back to bed. At this point my internal compass took over my body and laid me down with my head going South West (more west than south though). I fell instantly asleep. You may think it was the drugs. Hah! You would be wrong! It was totally my body needing to be pointing another way. I slept pretty good for the few hours of sleep after that.

The way I sleep is definitely interesting, there's no doubt about it. It's annoying and frustrating trying to figure out what my body wants to do, but I have been getting better at figuring it out closer to the start of the bedtime routine. It may be because I've been sick that I've been totally off my game. Let's hope that's it. I've become okay that I'm an abnormal sleeper and it may be my claim to fame one day? Okay, I guess I can't go that far, but it's all good.

My poor husband though... :/

Free Willy!

2009-07-17T21:06:00.000-07:00

William attempted suicide. I KNOW!!! I was shocked. I mean he has a great life, which includes me so what does he have to be upset about?

I guess he could be upset that his water was low...but come on! When my room gets messy so does his bowl so he needs to deal with it right? Wrong. He tries to find a way out. So sad his little life came to this. It made me feel like a bad person.

I finally saw how depressed he was and how he would ignore me more than usual (I think he's been picking up some tips from Molly on how to ignore the people that love you and feed you.) but the thing that made me really take an interest in taking the time to clean his disgusting bowl was seeing that whenever he moved his fin would come out of the water a little. Poor William.

I was going to bed and was feeding him when I realized I needed to help a guy out. I wrote on my message board "SAVE WILLIAM!!!"

The next day I proceeded to do so, but when I was transferring the little fella from his nastiness into a clean cupful of water he jumped ship! I was talking to Emily on the phone and was so scared. I put her down on the counter and tried desperately to pick up William, who seemed intent on lying on the counter until he was as dry as it was. Every time I would pick him up he would wiggle away and my mind sped..."How long can he survive without water?" "This is really gross." "I can't lose him, I'd be a failure." "I'm not sure I like the way he feels." "One Mississippi...two Mississippi...three Mississippi..how long do I have?"

Finally, I screamed at him to let me pick him up and he did! I don't know how big a fish's brain is to begin with, but he must have lost some brain cells to give in and obey me. Holy Hannah! I was so relieved that he wasn't going to die.

William's bowl is clean, he's getting fed and his colors coming back. This fish has gone through rehab twice now. Once for being anorexic and not eating his food and now for this. I may have to watch him more carefully this time around so that he doesn't go off the deep end and shave his head or something.

Just keep swimming!

Ultimate Takedown? Meh, I'm for Peace.

2009-07-11T22:02:00.000-07:00

Many of you may recall the blog where I did on all call "bring it" for a competition where I would kick butt. I may have stuck my foot in my mouth because I'm not as tough as I think I am.

I kind of gave up on the whole competition the week after I started. I mean, I was amazing and totally do good, but then I lost interest and stopped my amazingness.

Don't think you won. You didn't. I know for a fact you didn't do as well as you thought you would either. We both stopped and it was a mutual decision for no final throw down. You are good, I'm amazing and we'll leave it at that.

Loves you, mean it!

Dear Phelps Fans - You should have known, but if you didn't....

2009-06-30T10:10:00.000-07:00

It's a day for all to celebrate!!! Because we are all PHELPS FANS!!! WOO-HOO!!!

So I turned to this month on my amazing Michael Phelps calender and found something to look forward to. You'll never believe it...

TODAY IS MICHAEL PHELPS' BIRTHDAY!!!

So in honor of Phelps from the ultimate Phelps Fan I send out a special Happy Birthday!!!

It's time to celebrate Phelps Fans, it's time to celebrate!

WE WON!!!

2009-06-16T12:23:00.000-07:00

Sooo...I bet you all are wondering, "WHAT HAPPENED???"

I got sick! So last the fourth game win was supposed to be me all sarcastic about the refs and the abc announcers. Let's save some time...I hate them. Now that that's summed up. Fisher rocked that game and I love him to death.

Sunday! I worked... :( I missed the entire game and was happy to hear that we won the NBA Finals. Does this sound anti-climatic? That's how it felt to me. I was happy, but I didn't experience it with them so...I was an outcast and felt stupid.

THEN I watched it last night (yeah for MOXI...like TIVO, but so much better!) I couldn't help my emotions. I was ecstatic, proud, joyful...etc. etc. etc! At the end of the game during the celebrations I even teared up some. I KNOW!!! I'm a dweeb, but it is sooo awesome and I love the Lakers and I love the game. It's totally the best and I love everything right now! Perma-grins to go around!

So the Lakers are the best and are much loved and mean more to me than I thought. I wish I could watch the parade, but I have to work again. That's okay, we have MOXI! AWESOME!!!

If people had sent pictures we would also have a commemorative Lakers NBA Champions DVD, but you guys aren't as committed or something...I dunno.

Game 3 - Not Meant to Be

2009-06-09T20:47:00.000-07:00

Here's what happened. The Lakers did not make their free throws. That's ridiculous! Come on!

I do love however that the confetti came down for the Magic's "win" with 0.2 still on the clock. They had to wait for all of that presumptuous confetti to be cleaned up before the Magic went for their final free throws and put them down for the win. At least they can make their free throws. Bah!

The game was close and the Lakers were able to stay close the entire game and only lost by four (108-104). If they had made those free throws...

Moving on. Some of my favorite things that have come from these finals are commercials. It's great that we don't just have presumptuous confetti, but also presumptuous commercials! Both Nike and Vitamin Water were counting on the Cavaliers facing off against the Lakers in the finals pitting LeBron against Kobe! Nike has some delightful puppet commercials that alternate as to which player teases the other. The best is when LeBron doesn't make it and is left alone with asthmatic Dez. Check it out...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtzQ0eXVoJo&annotation_id=annotation_875250&feature=iv

You can then watch the rest after that by following the links on youtube. You should, because it just gets more and more delightful. YAY!

Now Vitamin Water had a "who is better" contest with LeBron versus Kobe. It is quite dramatic and pretty awesome to watch.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9ilXA1bHg8

Then LeBron and his team don't make it and Dwight Howard does! What are they to do? Do a mocu-mercial with Dwight Howard, Duh!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wi1U4supHk

It's delightful and a pretty clever way to correct their oops. Congratulations Vitamin Water.

Despite our loss tonight everything is good. It's just one game. And the only one that matters right now is game 4. Moving on to bigger and better things.

The Candyman Can!

2009-06-07T20:15:00.000-07:00

Who can take a sunrise
Sprinkle it in dew
Cover it in chocolate
and a miracle or two?

The candyman
The candyman can
The candyman can cause he mixes it with love and makes the world taste good

Lamar Odom, our beloved candyholic set the pace today for the Lakers. He contributed in every way on the court and it paid off today. Woot-de-woot. So eat some Gummy LifeSavers in his honor. YAY!

At half-time we learned Trevor Ariza's story and it's a sad one. His younger brother suffered a tragic accident and died when Ariza was only ten. He says he can feel his brother with him always and even named his, now one-year-old, son after his brother Tajh. Such a good story. I love the feeling/idea of those who passed on before us celebrating with us, proud of us and watching over us.

It was a close game and even went into overtime. Luckily our boys got into the game and closed it, giving the audience free tacos, with 101-96. This was a happy house. We were so nervous and Heather said that she was sweating more than Kobe at the end of a game. Eww...

At the end of this game, as he made his way to the locker room, Kobe met up with his girls and playfully wiped sweat off onto them. GROSS!!! Hahaha! What a Dad.

Actually, we looked pretty good at the end of the game. Game faces still on because this isn't the end. We've got two more games to win...

Game 1 Finals - 100-75 LAKERS!!!

2009-06-04T20:30:00.000-07:00

Lakers won! No duh! ;) Our team is amazing. Kobe Bryant had his game face on from the start.

How to get Kobe's game face:
1. Have a serious intense gaze. See the prize in front of you.
2. Slight furrow of brow. Not angry, but intimidating.
3. Drop jaw and jut it forward. Your bottom teeth must stick out as far as you can (Don't hurt yourself).

Now here's a question I have for Jameer Nelson...Do you not know that a mouth guard goes inside your mouth? My Mom thinks that it was too big for your mouth and she feels sorry that it doesn't fit. I think that you should be kicked off the court if you allow your mouth guard to hang out all nastily like that.

So basically, I love the Lakers. I think they are the best. Kobe Bryant was definitely the player of the game being all amazing and whatnot. LOVES IT!!!

Lakers family forever and always!!!

2009-06-04T17:50:00.000-07:00

Laker Girls!

So this is for real! The Lakers made it to the NBA finals!!! YAY!!! I am so excited. It's the best.

After finishing first during the season the Lakers made me nervous through every game of the post-season. There were ups and there were downs, but the only thing that is ultimately important is that they triumphed through every single series and Heather and I got to see them trounce Utah, which was delightful. Mom didn't like us missing church, but hey, we made it to the first hour-ish. (Dad would have said it was a-okay. What am I saying? He would have come with us!!! Woot-de-woo!)

Here's the deal. We want to make something to remember this momentous occasion. How? With your help of course! We want everyone (and I mean ALL YA'LL) to send us pictures of you celebrating the Lakers in team gear or purple and gold attire (No blue, come on people, they're play Orlando Magic!) You can get super creative or just snap your smiling face. What we are going to do is make a video of all this, put it to awesome music and play it at our "Lakers just won the finals" party. Of course Heather and I could just make it completely of us, but where is the fun in that?

I think this is going to be a wonderful finals and we are going to win. President Obama was even quoted picking the Lakers in 6. This is serious. I'm so excited. Watching it gives me chills and I'm sooo excited. It's so beautiful. So put on your purple and gold, game faces, beads, purple shoes because we are in it to win. (Or you could eat tons of candy in support of Odom's sugar addiction. Sounds tempting, doesn't it.) Watch it because these boys are hot, sexy and play a beautiful game.

GO LAKERS!!!

When your not practicing someone somewhere is and when you meet I'LL BEAT YOU!!!

2009-05-25T11:31:00.000-07:00

This is my declaration, "Bring it CHUMP!!!"

I've decided that I am in a competition with someone. They don't know that they are in competition with me. This gives me an unfair advantage of being able to visualize their crying face when I beat them during my training sessions. While they are "training" they won't know what's going on and may be thinking they only have themselves to beat. NOT TRUE SUCKER!

I would explain the strenuous training sessions I have been having, but then that could tell my competitor that they are in fact my competitor. Better them not know so that when I crush them it will be OH SO SWEET!

So this is a warning to everyone I know...If there is the slightest chance that we could be competing, we probably are, so watch yourself. So basically, anyone I know has a 1 in (however many people I know) chance of being my competitor. So if you do something then be the best or prepare to be bested by this girl. HEY-YAH!!!

Post-Grad?

2009-05-01T13:39:00.001-07:00

Riding Hank to the Post Office may not have been my best idea ever...

90% looking like an idiot...10% maybe looking cool...100% scared I'm going to fall.

I don't know where people learn how to ride because outside on the streets it's nerve racking. I felt like every single person was judging me and I hopped off more than I hopped on (technically not true, but you get the point). I still LOVE Hank, but I'm going to have to take this relationship one day at a time and see where it takes me.

AND I got a couple of blocks and it started raining and the minute I turned a corner to come home it pretty much stopped. I'm a loser.

Well, got to still get to the Post Office. Guess I'll use Franklin (Mom's car!)

AL + LB = LUV, TRU LUV

2009-04-30T16:15:00.000-07:00

I'm sooo twitterpated it's not even funny. It was always love at first sight. I couldn't help it, I was hooked. Must be the season of love!

Anyways, I GRADUATED!!! Woot de woo! Well, I guess I graduated last December, but I didn't officially walk or get my awesome diploma holder until last week. I feel very accomplished. Now...what do I do...?

Most of the family were able to go up to Utah for the big hullabaloo. It was cool. During the huge walking, everyone graduating thing President Uchtdorf and Elder Nelson talked. They are amazing speakers. Uchtdorf was also given an honorary graduation thing so we were basically in the same graduating class. How's that for bragging rights? I know your jealous. Back off!

When we were walking into the Marriott Center before that convocation thingy I found my ridiculous theatre friends and of course we kind of made a spectacle of ourselves. We were just walking outside and decided to loudly project the graduation march song. Chad was the loudest and we were laughing so hard when we looked over and Uchtdorf was sitting in a special chair chuckling at us. He gave Chad a thumbs up and waved to me, probably because we were the most special.

The next morning was the smaller graduation in the DeJong Concert Hall. It was tons of fun. Elder Oaks spoke and man, that guy is powerful. He's so cool. I wish he hadn't run away from my sister so I could have gotten a picture with him. She is so embarrassing sometimes (JUST KIDDING!!! I love you ugly).

I think the best thing was seeing my family there and knowing that they were supportive and proud of me for all that I accomplished. Even though, according to neon green pump girl, I didn't graduate in a real major (Maybe BYU should look into that!) I loved being able to see them. They were in the front row and I was thinking I was going to walk fiercely across the stage in my purple chucks, but couldn't! They were just too cute! I got all giddy and practically skipped across the stage! I was totally the cutest (and humblest too!)

I love my family!

At Emily's house we had a party where I got gifts. It was fun. But my absolute favorite...They told me to close my eyes and I did. I honestly could not imagine what I needed to close my eyes for, I couldn't even think of anything while I was waiting with my eyes closed. I thought that they might just throw stuff at me...who knows? But then when I opened my eyes being placed in my lap was a BRAND NEW LONGBOARD!!! I was thrilled beyond thrilled. I had a perma-grin that lasted through my first ride with Hank (that's my LB's name) and lasts every time I see him. So happy!

I love that I graduated from Brigham Young University with my B.A. and got a longboard! Maybe when I get my masters I'll get a surfboard! (Here's to hoping!)

Could have fed a starving child in Africa...tsk tsk Emily Ann

2009-04-10T01:14:00.000-07:00

Last week I decided that I was going to have something delicious to eat for lunch. I was not sure what it was going to be, but I knew it was going to be oh so good. It was.

Like lightning striking my brain I decided to make rice. LAAA!!! I love rice. I think it's delightful. I was never good at making rice. I went years without it because I couldn't properly cook this delicious treat. I would not only burn it every time, but a lot of the time it would be undercooked AND burned. How in the world does that work? I would follow the directions on the bag, I would follow the alternate, higher calorie, directions on the bag, I would ask many different people how to make rice and each time it was ruined by my hand. There was only one explanation, I was cursed.

I graduated from BYU a few months back and since being home have been petrified to even think about cooking rice. I would try to coerce others to make it for me, but they would always put sick nasty stuff in it and all I really wanted was the pure kind. I was an addict that was ebbed slightly before a higher tide rushed in. I needed it 100%, but couldn't do it myself and no one would do it for me.

I couldn't take it anymore. I asked one more time how to make it and it made sense. I knew that it was going to be perfect. The directions were no longer convoluted, my brain took them in and I felt strong with power. I was creating the perfect batch of rice! It was VERY empowering to finally hold that nice steaming bowl of rice and eat to my hearts desire. Sigh.

I had broken the curse. I'm pretty sure the curse was basically that I was in Utah and Utah doesn't like me very much. That state and I have an ongoing hatred that will last until the end of time. I know that it ruined my rice because it wanted me to suffer those four long years that I was to spend in it's grasp. Sucks to be Utah because I got out of there in 3.5 years. (I tell people it was because I was ending my supply of money that I finished early, but it was really to snub Utah and get my hands on rice.)

ANYWAYS!!! Last week I decided that the delicious lunch I was to have would be a nice bowl of rice. It was so delicious that I started talking out loud about how much I love rice. "I love rice, I love rice (That part was sung...this wasn't). I love that I can eat rice whenever I want. For dinner, for lunch and even for breakfast. I love that Anita taught me how to make morning rice with butter, milk and sugar. It's so delicious." For lunch I made it with butter, salt and pepper. SO GOOD!

But here's the crazy, amazing thing - Anita called like a minute after I had said that. She is psychic. So of course I told her I was just "thinking" about her (ahem...talking aloud to myself) and thanked her lots for a new way to eat rice. Any excuse, any excuse.

Worst Type of People: Someone who throws rice away instead of saving it for a snack later on. EMILY!!! Goodness. She did this right in front of me too. She took the beautiful rice and dumped it in the garbage without a second thought. I immediately scolded her, but there was really nothing I could do, it was now stuck to disgusting trash. Rice is not trash, it is delicious, except for if I make it in Utah because Utah hates me. The End.

Most Improved Staller

2009-03-16T22:15:00.000-07:00

So I am amazing! Well, basically. Last Thursday, Friday, Saturday I went through Motorcycle Training classes and TOTALLY PASSED! So, basically, I'm amazing. Hah!

I was sooo nervous. This has been something that I have want to do for such a long time and never actually went through with it. I think my secret obsession with motorcycles started in high school and I only shared it with a few people. And now, look at me, one DMV written test away from having my license and TONS of money away from actually owning a bike, but hey, I'm one step closer now, aren't I?

I was just thinking about how I have never been on an actual motorcycle before going it solo during this class. Scooters and four-wheelers, yes, but not a motorcycle. That's kind of thrilling actually. My first experience was all by myself. I'm a lone rider. I don't need anybody else.

The class was fun, thrilling, scary, nerve-wrecking, and everything else. Every time I approached the bike (it was a white, Honda Rebel, totally cute) I thought I was going to die! The instructors would explain what we would do and in my mind I would freak out and then they would demonstrate what we were going to do and I would think I was going to explode and then they would tell me to get on the bike. And I would mentally scream as I would attempt to do what they told me. It was ridiculous! And oh, how much I loved it. HAHAHA!!!

I'm pretty sure that I was the only one who ever stalled my bike, this gear thing is sooo complicated! The only exposure to shifting gears and clutches and whatnot was when Mike, Joshua and Nate taught me how to drive Mike's car in a parking lot. Basically, they just laughed at me. The motorcycle essentially stalled every time I even looked at it. I think I witnessed one other person stall their bike, but that may only be wishful thinking on my part and an overactive imagination. The coaches got used to me having to walk my bike out of other people's ways. So sad. Although, they kept reassuring me that it happened to everyone, even them, and not to worry about it.

The final testing part was the scariest thing I have ever done. I would have taken a grumpy full-house that wants comedy when you are killing every actor onstage. I somehow made it through though and passed...I am telling you now, I don't want to EVER have to make a tight u-turn again in my life. WORST - THING - EVER !!!

My group was very supportive and fun to be around. They were mostly older guys that took me under their wings and told me I was doing great (even though I wasn't). There were two girls and guess what! Her name was Ashley and my name was Ashleigh. It sometimes was confusing because who can really hear the "gh" over a motorcycle. In the end we were a happy family (with one tic that I wanted to push off his motorcycle...and run over). I miss them too. You get to know these guys so well. They shall be missed.

In the end Ashley got Valedictorian and Ashleigh (that's me!) got Most Improved. It was a very victorious moment. My instructor told me that it took me so long to start up after a stall and then in the end I could do it so quickly. Just think, I got so much experience starting up again after a stall, like two seconds to get going again (seriously), and everyone else that didn't get all that practice will be out on the street stalling and taking so much time trying to get going again (sucks to be them). I'm basically amazing.

Movie Theatre Etiquette 101

2009-02-21T21:41:00.001-08:00

This is for all of the idiots that LOVE to go to the movie theatre and have no idea how to act in a social setting. Here it is, DON'T TALK!!! It's sooo annoying to be in a movie and enjoying it (or sitting there, trying to figure out what's going on and why you spent money to see this movie in the first place) and there are people around you that are talking after every single line. Why do we need to know that that person acts just like the guy you just dated or that you do that ALL THE TIME!!! Come on people, we are in a social setting, we don't care about your personal lives.
To all the losers that laugh at the wrong parts! I know they are the wrong parts to laugh at because the person is crying (and not in a funny way). There are things that some may find humorous that others do not, this is fine, but PLEASE do not guffaw about it for the next ten minutes and continue to quote or act out what just happened on-screen. We all saw it, thought it was funny and moved on with our lives. Quoting the movie is what you do as you are walking out of the theatre. That's the time when you get to reflect on how great the movie was. It's a beautiful time to reminisce about all the beautiful and wonderful things that happened; it's not the time where you are only grateful that you never have to see those annoying people again in your lives! It's just sad how both the movie and the reflection time is ruined by some people's lack of courtesy.
So we get that the previews are there to get you to go see a new movie and it's going to happen (at least after one preview) where you lean to the person next to you and say, "That looks funny" or "I want to see that". It's going to happen, but when you announce to the entire theatre, "I'M WANT TO SEE THAT MOVIE!" It's not cute, it's not funny, people may laugh, but it's the "oh my gosh there is a crazy person in here" sort of laugh. It's AT you, not with you. And NO! The cute guy two rows in front of you is not going to turn around and ask you to see that movie with him because he wants to see it too, he's going to mock you with the person he is with. (And if he does ask you, there is something wrong with him, trust me.)
Oh yeah, CELL PHONES!!! Turn them off! The "polite" reminders right before the movie are not a suggestion. And if you think you can just text through the movie and it won't bother anyone because your not talking, YOU ARE WRONG!!! Every time you open up your cellphone the people around you are blinded. Sure, you think it's not that bright, but it is. When you are in a darkened theatre the light is distracting, annoying and makes you want to punch the person that feels they need to text someone constantly to feel alive.
So I'll admit now that I do say things during a movie, but seriously it's so whisper-y that I don't even think the person I'm directing it to actually hears me, they just smile and nod. So I probably should stop that because the smile and nod is the first clue that they are only appeasing you because you are their friend and to tell you to shut up would break some made up friend code, or something.
The only, ONLY time I ever talked loudly during a movie, in a theatre (at home, whatever, do what you want), was when by random, must have been a gift from the gods because this never happens, it was only me and my friend in the theatre. Yes, it was abandoned except for us and it was SO much fun. So fun, that I've often thought that when I was rich I would buy out entire theatres to see a movie like that again. Plus, it was a movie that was mutually talkable, and laugh, through because it was the 3rd new Star Wars movie where everything is digitally redone because actors shouldn't be allowed to blink during a serious scene anyway. If this lovely gift ever happens to you, by all means, do whatever you want, but otherwise calm down and enjoy the movie while respecting the other people in the theatre with you.

P.S. The movie that I just saw was He's Just Not That Into You and it was pretty good. Funny and enjoyable (despite the idiots behind me). There were story lines/actors I thought could be plucked out and it would be better, but what can you do?

A - B - D???

2009-02-11T15:02:00.000-08:00

So I wrote down this dilemma on a post-it note that went up on my bulletin board in my room and two of my sisters read it and never gave any advice on what I should do! This is probably one of the hardest decisions in my life. I recently took the CBEST and for the writing part they had an essay on writing about a time when I had to make a really hard decision. I wanted so badly to put this one, but in truth I have never finalized what to do so I wrote about something stupid like deciding on what University to go to.

Here's the problem, I LOVE movies and I especially love owning them. Being able to watch them whenever makes me sooo happy. Admittedly I am a movie snob and only like wide screen, but that's not the issue. Anyways, the new Batman movies with Christian Bale are so amazing and I needed them in my collection. I half wish now that I didn't buy them because they may have ruined my life (maybe).

My DVD collection exhibits one of my OCD tendencies as it is alphabetizes and beautiful. Here's my problem: The Dark Knight, alphabetically, does not go after Batman Begins!!! However, it IS the sequel. I can't handle this dilemma, what's a girl to do? Do I go in order or stick to the alphabet? What has Christopher Nolan done to me? This is only slightly ridiculous.

Watergate, what? Isn't that green with marshmallows?

2009-01-30T01:16:00.000-08:00

I've been lying to myself for a long time, but it's time to come clean. I do not have a politically set mind. I have never realized (or probably more correctly admitted it to myself) until I went to see the movie Frost/Nixon. I guess it makes me feel really stupid how much I don't retain when it comes to political or historical things.

During the movie I actually thought to myself, "I must have been told at least once in my life that Nixon resigned from presidency", but there I was shocked to hear him resigning (albeit fakely) on the big screen. There has to be some disconnect between these subjects and me because I've never done too well in history (in my opinion). I got good enough grades to keep getting me through, but in the back of my mind I thought that all these teachers were crazy because I have no idea what I am talking about.

My favorite history class experience was in High School when our class was studying World War I and World War II. The entire class broke into groups and had to take different topics of interest to present on: weapons, troupes, etc. Lucky for me there was one topic that I could actually identify with. I convinced my group to do the impact on media. I got to see the impact of the wars on the film industry and clothing and whatnot. Our presentation was the best because we dressed up in more 40's inspired garb, an Andrew's Sister and Charlie Chaplin, and got to show movies and listen to records. It was sooo much fun, but I didn't REALLY learn anything about the wars, if I'm completely honest (except now I know the approximate dates they occured, I guess that's something).

Okay, so why did I go see this movie? First of all, I just wanted to finally hang out with my friend again. He told me what the movie and I would lie if I didn't say I judge a movie by it's title. My mind went, Nixon?=boring historical stuff. Then, I gave it a chance and watched a preview for it and thought it looked kind of interesting and wanted to give it a try. So I went and for a while I thought, "What the crap did I get myself into?" They were throwing out issues and words right and left and I had no clue what ANY of it meant. I felt like I probably needed to do some research and studying up before I went to see this movie.

Finally, I was just gave up trying to make any sense of the things they assumed I already knew about (because what normal college graduate doesn't?) and looked at the film-making, the acting, the makeup, lighting, editing, everything. It's an amazing film looking at it that way. I was truly impressed by how amazing this film is. Yes, I tuned out during every long monologue they had (which was almost every line), but was deeply moved by the passion that went into playing the part of Nixon, played by Frank Langella, and the final part of the interview with Frost when he was completely broken and admitted the wrong he did in office. That was brilliant. Frost, played by Michael Sheen, was alright, but I was more distracted by his eyebrows and how much they made him resemble Jack Nicholson. That kind of overpowered his performance. A shout out will be made for Kevin Bacon. He played the silent, brooding Jack Brennan who is Nixon's chief of staff. There was such loyalty shown in this portrayal that it was endearing (plus, he looked quite snazzy in his suit vest, yup).

Anyway, sorry this turned into another movie review, but honestly I'm better at that then pretending to be politically interested. Yes, I have debated politics before, but if you pay any attention I always stick to logical things and not delve into past issues for my rebuttals. I would also be lying if I wasn't somewhat relieved when I never got my out of state voting stuff for this past election. On the important things (to me) I know where I stand, but I did not know who I was going to vote for, I had an idea, but it was never actually finalized. I knew that when I voted I would have to read up on the issues and whatnot and so when it never actually came...yea, I was angered at first. Who are they to deny me my right to vote? But when I really thought about it...

Basically, politics and history are completely foreign to me. I don't get it and maybe never will. But I already put that on my list of qualities my husband needs to possess because if he doesn't, our children will never have a chance. But hey, at least I learned something today about our former President Tricky Dick. And people think the media is bad for us, hah!

Isn't he a Rabbit?

2009-01-19T13:05:00.001-08:00

So I didn't think I would turn this page into a review of anything, but I'm thinking if I see something that really inspires or really sucks there is merit in letting you people know about it. I went with Heather saturday to see the movie Last Chance Harvey.

I wasn't sure whether I was going to love or hate this film. I thought that I was going to feel indifferent about it and then just leave it at that. So our lead male Harvey's, played by Dustin Hoffman, life is completely screwed up. He's losing his job, his ex-wife turns his nose up at him and his daughter is getting married and isn't too keen on him being a part of the festivities. I kept feeling sadder and sadder as the movie went on. Emma Thompson's character Kate is still single and older without any profits and you can tell the wear that that is taking on her. I was maybe 30 minutes into the movie and felt as though that anything and everything that could go wrong to make somebody suicidal was about to. I was feeling as though I needed to leave the movie and that would help cheer me up.

Then it happened. The meet cute between our leads and though it was at first a strained happiness it was nice to not be so emo anymore so it was taken in with enthusiasm. I was just happy that they finally met, because we all know that's what the movie was about. The rest of the movie was amazing. The ENTIRE movie was amazing. It's really something that can bring hope and cheer into all of our lives. My favorite part of the movie was the many characters and the quirks that made them amazing.

Heather said, "If this film doesn't prove we have British in us then I don't know what does." She's right, it had British humor in it through and through and most of the time Heather and I were the only ones laughing. I was seeing so many family traits in this movie it was quite endearing. The number one favorite was Kate's mother Maggie, played by Eileen Atkins. She has such a few amount of lines and her scenes are filled with just her looking around, spying on the neighbor and internally connecting with the audience. To say she is brilliant is an understatement. She also bore quite the resemblance to my mother in her emotions and actions. In one part Kate has her arms around her and tells her three times in a row, "Hug me mum" while Maggie's arms are at her side trying to ignore her, but after the final plea puts her arms around Kate in what is obviously an exasperated hope that her daughter will stop hugging her. It's priceless. (That's totally my mom.)

Dustin Hoffman is quite a gruff old man, but is completely delightful. He can certainly deliver a line and, with that sparkle in his eye, he will charm your pants off. He certainly delivered the complete lows and highs of Harvey's life with such purity and raw emotion it was compelling. Emma Thompson is just beautiful to watch. She has poise and vulnerability and is a complete star. I don't know what else to say, she's just an entrancing actress because it is completely real with her. She's not just pretending, she's living. These two together is such a match. She's about 4 inches taller than him the entire film because of her shoes with heels and it's so funny to see them together. At the end she does take her shoes off and comes almost to his level (at least to the level of his hair) and they walk off in one of the most beautiful vertical crane shot panning up and out through green trees filling both sides of the screen with a sliver in the middle to still view both actors walking off together. Such a brilliant thing to end on.

I have to say how much I love movies that have been filmed in London because I am constantly looking at the scenes to see if I was where they currently are. In this film I got really excited because Kate has a class in the National Theatre and I have been where the class was shot. Then I have walked down the river and across those bridges. It was kind of fun. I know, I'm totally lame, but it's still way cool for me. But anyway, the places they chose to film in London were so exquisite and beautiful and lent so much for the movie. It was beautiful to see.

So if you didn't guess already, I completely endorse this movie. It's funny and enjoyable in every sense of the word and is still touching and dramatic. It's definitely a must see in my opinion. Hopefully this all didn't sound so lame and boring, but I just wanted to write about it. Good movies make me want to take action somehow.

Call Sasquatch, he has better stories than me anyway.

2009-01-10T14:23:00.000-08:00

So I welcomed in the New Year with the renewed knowledge of how awkward a person I am vocally. I find that I never know the right things to say so I end up sounding stupid, snarky, or completely mad (crazy). I feel that there is never a situation where I say the right thing, but I came to that conclusion a while ago and used it to my "advantage" (somewhat).

The stupid thing I turned into a "dumb blonde" thing. I'm sorry people for using the stereotype to my advantage. But hey, it's there already, might as well prosper from it. So whenever I say the wrong thing in a stupid way it's chalked up to hair color. I trick I used to pull a lot in high school (and still occasionally) is I would just put a blank look on my face and "space out" when I knew that I really had nothing to contribute, but if I looked as though I were a part of whatever conversation was going on I would be expected to contribute.

Snarky remarks come out of my mouth right and left. I used to keep quiet because I knew that what I had to say (or contribute) would not be helpful or wanted by other people. Then my Mom got mad at me because she never knew what I was thinking because I was quiet about everything (believe me, that's how often the wrong thing pops into my head). That's when I snapped and I'm sure that she regrets ever telling me to open my mouth. Yes, we can all blame her for me always speaking my mind. Although, small kudos to me because I've learned how to sometimes control it and keep the funny, yet rude, remarks to myself (or the people I text...I need an outlet somewhere). Don't blame me, blame my mother people. Look what she has done to society.

Then I come off as crazy. Like the step-second-adopted-twice-over-niece-of-your-nephew-who-was-dropped-on-her-head-at-birth (and repeatedly after that) kind of crazy. I sometimes wonder why people hang out with me at all. It's not often, which is good, but when it happens, oh man. I'm embarrassed for myself, my family, my friends, people I don't even know, because they may come across me (even once) in their lifetime. It's like every full moon I open my mouth and howl the thing that makes people move chairs away from me. I'm a looney. Sad days.

So all this ends up with me being socially inept, but honestly I've tried to work on it. Seriously, I have. Maybe if you have known me for a while you will have noticed the progress I have made (maybe you just ignore me and that's fine too). I thought my interactions with people have risen and I was doing good...then I was reminded of my biggest flaw of all time. (Whisper) I am the worst person to talk to on the phone (end of whisper).

I KNOW!!! I've tried to overcome it, but I have serious issues with using the telephone. I've even fooled myself into thinking that I've gotten better, but then I realized that it's the people on the other side of the call that make it work. If we have good conversations on the phone then you are the one who has the amazing God given talent of "being an expert phone conversationalist". I was trying to talk to one of my best friends on the phone and I just felt so sorry for her.

I wanted to apologize during the conversation because it literally sucked a thousand times worse than Taco Bell's mild sauce in a fresh paper cut (believe me, that sucks!) I wanted to be able to talk to her and tell her many strange and wonderful things, but all I could think of was "you suck", "why do you even answer your phone", "think of something to say" and "if you can't think of something real, make it up, tell her you saw sasquatch or something". I feel that that phone conversation was the basic equivalent of being on a blind date, having nothing to talk about and realizing that you are out with your step-second-adopted-twice-over-niece-of-your-nephew-who-was-dropped-on-her-head-at-birth. I cringe thinking about it.

Goodness, of all the social problems I have when I open my mouth it's a million times worse when I can't. She must think I had something better to do (I didn't), I hate her guts (I don't), I never want to see her again (not true, I'm finding a way to see her in March). There is no hope for me. I think about it and the people I have good phone conversations are the people I have known from birth and Justin. Maybe because they have unconditional love for me and I have awkward conversations like that with them too, but don't realize it. Oh my gosh!!! That's it. I don't ever want to use the phone again, because I'm awkward and unsociable and only do well in person (subjective). So text me, show up at my door, hit me in the face and if you call me expect to have a brief conversation (if one at all) or be able to carry the conversation on all by your lonesome because this blonde is spacing out.

The Pain in My Butt (aka Utah)

2008-12-23T12:35:00.000-08:00

Utah tried it's best to make me miserable this Christmas, but it didn't work. No sir. It's last kick to my pants came in a series of unfortunate events. I hate Utah.

I was finally done with finals, but had to stay up all night to complete them, woe to me. Joshua was quite perturbed upon finding out that I had no sleep the previous night because he wanted me to do most of the driving home. Him being upset with me made me sad and not happy, but then he said it would all be okay. I still knew that he would be angry, but what could I do? I had to finish those awful papers for stupid Anthropology that I hope for once and for all is out of my life. It's never sure until the grades come out (and if it were up to my t.a. they would never come, she was so unreliable).

I was so happy to turn in that paper and I did exceptionally well on my final test for Human Development that I was practically skipping to get money back for my books. The book for Anthro got me $10.00 (whatever, I'll take it) and then he announced that Human Development was getting me over $80!!! Then the nice man was corrupted by the spirit of Utah and asked where the c.d. that went with the book was? Ummm...CRAP!!! I left without my H.D. book money hoping that when I got home I would be able to find that stupid c.d. that comes with the book, but nobody ever uses because it's really not that useful.

I waited for Joshua to get out of his final and then HE got to sell back his books with no catches (Utah knew he would be coming back so it could make his life miserable later). Then he got his knitting books and we went home to pack the stuff in the car. I felt like both my brothers hated me because I had so much stuff. I could see it in their faces. "I hate Ashleigh, she has so much stuff. What an idiot. I hate her and her stuff. Let's burn it all and then it won't matter." I left stuff that I should have brought, but didn't (oh well, I'll get it later?) On a positive note - I found that stupid c.d.

So we finally are packed and I have to say goodbye to Kara and that was sad...

I'm feeling wide awake at the moment so I offer to drive for a little while and Joshua says alright. I get in and the wheel won't turn and I feel so stupid, but I turn it off and back on and we are on the road. I have to go get a pizza for the boys which is fine because we have to make so many pit stops before we leave, what's one more. We get the pizza and I can't see behind me and focus so hard on one thing while I'm pulling out that I don't see another and "crunch", there I go backing up and letting my front bumper scrape the door of the car next to me.

I am about ready to cry, but get the insurance and whatnot and go to talk to this girl who is wearing a blanket and smoking and swearing at me. (What did I ever do to you Utah?) I'm trying to explain that it will be alright, to give my insurance and everything, but she's making me so angry and upset. Then her friend comes out of the Pizza place and says it's alright and nothing looks damaged and to just leave it (I guess the car belonged to her). I was so happy to leave, but I didn't want to drive anymore, but I still had to.

We get to the BYU bookstore and I get my money, yay. Then we drop off some videos I rented from the Provo library, done. Finally we get gas and then we are on the freeway. I'm still upset and Andrew tries to make me feel better. He tells me to think about what's making me upset and whether or not I can do anything about it. I'm angry at him right then for trying to make me feel better when I just want to wallow in my misery, but then I realize that he is right and I try to move on and leave all my troubles in Utah. We eventually hit some fog and my eyes were doing funny things and I pulled over and let Joshua drive, excited to sleep and momentarily not think about everything awful.

Then it happens, we are out of Utah, but that doesn't make Utah happy so it sends all of it's troops down to Las Vegas (who knew they would unite to destroy me?) THE ROADS ARE CLOSED!!! We are stuck in Vegas. Woe to life. Woe to living. Just kill me now. I hate the snow so much, it needs to evaporate and never come back (snow death). Extra money was shelled out and we ate and slept.

Joshua thinks we should just leave the hotel without waiting for the all clear on the roads. Whatever, I start to drive. Then we hit the mile(ish) before Primm and we stop. I turn off the car on the freeway. We are stuck there for several hours...I'm so bored I start tattooing myself and then Andrew. When it finally clears we decide we are so hungry we get off at Primm to find food, but then we get stuck in this long line of trucks and never are able to get food and for about an hour we are getting off and then back on the freeway. Very productive.

Eventually we get somewhere with food and get fed and things start to go right. Which in my mind is only because we made it to California, home sweet home, and Utah can't touch us anymore. Stupid Utah, I will not miss you. There are things I will miss, but not you.

Quickly, things I'll miss: Kara and my roommies, my Pilches that I have become so close to, the people I work with, and my friends that I have gathered through classes and shows. Some of my classes and the professors in my major and some from my minor. My ward up there, the bishopric, the people. My friends at raintree, we had good times. Being about an hour away from Emily and going to Elizabeth's for Thanksgiving.
Things I'm happy to be home for: My friends and family down here. Being home for all of the holidays. Not going to school, at least for awhile. Being free from Utah.

So adieu Utah. You were the ultimate pain in my butt. This Phelps fan is checking out (until I have to see Kara get married and walk, but no more living there for me!)

Gesundheit, now stop it.

2008-12-02T17:52:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite things is sneezing. You lose control of your body for a split second, it contorts, your eyes close and explosion! It's very liberating and so much better than coughing. With coughing your throat gets all sore and unhappy, with sneezing you pirouette and cablooey! (Sometimes your nose runs, but dude, get a tissue.) I've always been fond of sneezing.

The only problem I have ever had with sneezing is when someone does not cover their spray. My Mom said that when she was working at an Elementary school she was walking behind this boy and it was foggy. Then the boy sneezed and didn't cover his mouth - sprayed all around him in about a 6 foot diameter (the fog helped my Mom see it.) So I've always thought that we just need to cover our mouth and sneezing would be an enjoyable experience, until recently.

Recently I've started to become annoyed with the process of sneezing. Not the individual there-is-dust-in-my-nose-got-to-sneeze thing going on, but the cultural sneeze-blessyou-thankyou thing! It's so annoying. I get it, the need to be polite and what not, but really? This all started when people would sneeze and think their soul was flying to the devil and the "God bless you" brought it back into your body. It was a nice thing people were doing for each other, constantly saving each other from hellfire and damnation. Such a nice thing to do. But I think our generation is far enough advanced that we know that sneezing is not your spirit escaping, just like taking a photograph of someone is not stealing their soul. (If that were the case we'd all be damned.)Also, my dog Molly chooses to pretend to sneeze to get our attention when we are eating so we'll give her food. It's clever.

But there are the people that just can't help themselves and sneeze and sneeze and sneeze. They sneeze once and you bless them. Then they sneeze again and you already blessed them and you don't know if you need to do it again. Does the first blessing cover them all? THEN they sneeze again (and again and again) and now you're thinking they are just getting greedy with all the blessings that are coming their way, but you are shackled to politeness and just keep blessing. Sometimes you can tell more are coming and you shut up until the end of their sneeze-fest and you bless them for all 20 sneezes. That may be the best solution to the multi-sneezer.

I've often thought that if you said "bless you" for a sneeze then you also should say something for a cough, just to be polite. Like "are you okay", "can I get you a lozenge" or "woah buddy, we just met, I don't want your germs." Those all would be appropriate and/or polite, but it doesn't happen. So we need to dispense with the "blessing people". We know their soul isn't escaping from their body (Aren't souls the good thing? Are we damning them by putting them back in their jail? Just a thought.) so let's get rid of these so-called polite habits and let people bless themselves if they need to. People excuse themselves when they burp, so they can bless themselves when they sneeze. Let them apologize and pray for themselves.

P.S. I'll probably still blessing people because I believe in karma and I feel that I will be screwed if I don't. So stop it people, and puppies, it's not cute and no one really wants to bless you. Bless yourself. (If I'm around I'll do it for you, but now you know I loathe you, your sinuses and your attention getting ploys.)

The Worst Type of Person...

2008-11-22T20:32:00.000-08:00

* Never watched Pushing Daisies

* Canceled Pushing Daisies

* Closed a door on a child making him cry

* Doesn't tell you who got cast when it doesn't include you

* Tries to hold a conversation in passing

* Does an entire show with you and then can't remember who you are

* Never makes a date

* Irrationally hates you

* Hates little dogs

* Likes cats

* Thinks someone's allergies are being made up

* Still has prejudices

* Uses and abuses

* Likes the show 24

* Likes Anne Geddes' work

* Frequents the hot tub

* Thinks Christmas starts in September

* Forces others to listen to Christmas music

* Forces others to listen to Country music

* Thinks Texas was God's gift to the world

* Doesn't share

* Is a substance abuser

* Yells on their cell phone

* Plays their music loud enough so everyone cn hear it rom their headphones

* Doesn't dress up for Halloween

* Forgets who their friends are

* Chooses to live in BYU approved housing, but constantly complains about the rules

* Holds grudges

* Makes you feel bad for no reason

* Likes you, but never says anything

* Doesn't agree with me

* Is the main topic of every one of their conversations

* Pretends to understand modern art

* Follows the fads, but can't tell you what makes them good

* Wins Cycle 11 of America's Next Top Model

* Thinks I'm writing about them

(* Is right)

Sacré bleu, it's sacrilegious! (That's the only warning you get...I'm serious)

2008-11-14T23:06:00.000-08:00

(Okay,if you didn't take the title into account let me warn you that if you love to pray. No, if you love to have long prayers, this may not be your blog of choice. Once I post it I expect to be struck by lightning...if you read it, you may be going down with me. Okay, maybe just reading it will be okay, but no laughing and whatever you do don't agree with me or I'll have to dust off a space in hell for you to sit with me...That's it.)

Here it is. I'm saying it. I feel inept when I pray. It should be easy, shouldn't it? I was taught in primary how to pray, primary! But I feel that there are a bunch of primary kids running around out there that are so much better at praying then I am (and their parents!) I have had years more experience than them so why do I feel like I suck so much?

So basically a prayer is:
1. Introduction
2. Thank you
3. Asking and pleading
4. Sayonara

It sounds simple and I thought I was okay at it. Then I realized (when I was 4ish?) that my Mom's prayers were so long! She was on her knees for like 30 minutes (maybe less, it felt like hours in truth). So I felt my little prayers needed some length and I started to bless "the good people and the bad people and everybody else", "the rich people and the poor people and everyone else", "the tall people and the short people and everyone else" - pick two opposing adjectives add on everyone else and you can be sure it was in my prayer. It was awesome! My prayers went from 10 seconds to 10 minutes! I was amazing! (Later I found out that my parents essentially drew straws to see who had to listen to my prayer for the night; doesn't help my self esteem now...I shouldn't even want to pray anymore, but I do...privately). I now realize that she had 9 kids to pray about and I'm assuming that is where the length came from (especially for the seventh one).

When I am asked to pray in public my palms get sweaty, my face flushes, my stomach turns and I feel like throwing up. People are going to judge my prayer and think I don't love the church as much as they do because my prayers are short, sweet and to the point. Publicly I feel that since I am praying on their behalf I need to make it long, drawn out and vague(ish).

This is how they want me to pray:
1. Our dear, most kind and gracious, Heavenly Father who is in heaven (or what ever else they feel like adding in)...
2. We thank thee for the snow (I HATE THE SNOW - I don't care if it got rid of a drought!) and for everything else people don't really appreciate, but thanks!
3. Please bless the missionaries and the troops and that person who is sick in the ward, but I can never remember her name because frankly she is a beast and I don't like her, but please watch over her. Also make sure we remember every last thing that is mentioned in this meeting and those to come. I don't want to forget about that "thank"simony where we learned how nice that girl in that one apartment just knew that other girl in that other apartment was having a bad day and made her cookies and then smiled at a hobo and saved a kitten out of a tree! Oh yes, please also bless that we have more snow!!!
4. (The closing is my favorite part because if you play your cards right it can be longer than the actual prayer!) Everything that was said in the holy and sacred name of our big brother, our friend, our Savior, the redeemer of the world, thy son - everything listed in Isaiah 9:6 - EVEN Jesus Christ (oh, it was him, you were referencing) amen.

Do you see how this could be overwhelming? I just don't know what to say when I get up there. I'm going to forget something, I should have written a script to memorize, I didn't even get to warm up my voice!!! (Coca Cola! Pepsi! Mountain Dew! or should I warm up with caffeine free drinks...Diet Coca Cola! Diet Pepsi! Sprite! Orange Fanta!) I need this time to myself so I can research a good prayer and do it...maybe. Okay, I can't. I'm the girl who thought that "no harm or accident" was "no arm or lasent"(I know it's not a word, it didn't make sense to me either, but I always said it because that's what I thought I had to say). I;m going to slur my words together and some poor little girl will think "Our dear Heavenly Father" is "O drivenly feather". Could you imagine the uproar at family dinner? I don't want that on my conscience! Also, I'm going to forget to bless the troops and then another war on top of this one will break out and it's going to be my fault. Or I won't remember whose name it EVEN is in and then I'll have to splutter incoherent adjectives, mumble and say amen.

Do you see the predicament I am in every time I am asked to say the prayer? I know God doesn't mind that I am short and sweet, he made me that way and if I rambled he would dread listening to my prayers like my parents did when I was little (and the things that are "cute" when your little are totally "un-cute" when you are older) and there isn't anyone he can pass the buck to! It's the rest of the people in the church that feel that longer is better and then everyone in the congregation (and the bishopric) that don't plan on taking a nap during the prayer really wish that they could open their eyes and see who else is opening their eyes and then look down ashamedly because they were caught not enjoying the long prayer and with their eyes open staring at the other person with their eyes open...see how long prayers only hurt the congregation?

We need to all go to primary for the prayer lesson (and possible the testimony one) so we don't go wrong and make people feel bad for short prayers. I say, "Rock on short prayers! Rock on!!!"

P.S. Just so you know, I love to pray. I think it's the best. For sure.

Rules to Live By

2008-11-08T00:25:00.000-08:00

I've decided that I hate complimenting people. It feels as though when you compliment them they must not have lived up to your standards earlier in you knowing them.

I gave a compliment today and it went something like this. "You look so nice today!" Does this mean that other days they don't look nice? "I mean, really, really adorable." I'm totally digging my grave. "I just saw you and thought how cute you looked." I need to stop talking now. "Okay, bye, have a good night."

I felt like when I told her the she looked nice I had to qualify it like it was an insult. I felt that the "today" makes it seem as though I'm surprised they look nice, like they have never looked nice before. Yesterday? They didn't look bad...? Or did they? I had to open my mouth and tell them today they look good, but yesterday I guess not. It's absurd.

The most annoying thing is I felt I had to qualify myself in what I said even though it really shouldn't be something I need to stumble over my words to qualify. I felt so stupid. And I shouldn't feel stupid for paying a compliment.

Also, this brings up other awkward situations where someone gives you a compliment and then you feel like you should say something in response to them and you look them up and down trying to figure out what to say as a compliment back to them. While this is going on you have an awkward pause so they know that nothing about them actually stands out and that you are "rude". The little kids that we perform for will say nice stuff about our costumes and I always feel like I should say, "You're outfits pretty too!" But really? No! Everyone is wearing Hannah Montana, wearing it does not make you stand out as being special or worthy of a compliment. It's just awkward conversation.

Another awkward conversation is when you just pass someone while walking and you give them the nod and hello and they insist on asking how you are doing. Really? I'm already past you when you get the "you" of that sentence out of your mouth. I'm not going to respond with more than an okay, but when am I ever okay. Responses I have come up with: Breathing, alive, awake...etc. Anything is better than saying okay or good. I like pretending I never heard them in the first place and this especially works when I'm "listening" to my ipod. (I said I got my ipod so I can better enjoy my workout, but really it is so I can pretend I don't hear people when I clearly did.)

Rules to a perfect world:
1. I'm never going to pay any more compliments.
2. If you need to pay me a compliment (because I'm amazing) you will not get one in return, live with it.
3. When we pass a smile and nod is sufficient. If there must be verbal it will only be hi, hello, hey there...no questions.

Fall

2008-10-22T10:01:00.000-07:00

I am very upset right now. Not just slightly upset, like I broke a nail or bit my tongue, but furious! There was no need for what just happened only a few minutes ago. Seriously. Accountability must be had for the atrosity that dared into my life. Let it be that the court hear the trial of poor innocent girl trying to get across campus and the evil, mean spirited, mother faking, phelps fan called ice.

It doesn't help that I started off with Anthropolgy class. Anthropology - the study of people across the world, doesn't it sound magical? That's what I thought last year when I was signing up for classes for this past winter and naive with excitment forged my way to my first Anthropology class. It was slightly ridiculous how excited I was, but it was for General Ed. credit and a 100 level class (the rest of my classes were 300 or above that semester; talk about a workload). It was going to be fun and easy and magical (I know I used that descriptor already, but that's how it was.) The syllabus...(duh, duh, duuuhhhhhhh)...was more intense then my 300 level English class that is advised to be taken by Juniors and Seniors! That very day, I left, like a kid who just found out Santa was not real and it was their parents who were hiding Guess Who? in their closet. Crushed and then excited to drop something that I could take another time and get a different teacher.

This would have been fine and good, but then the next semester to come up was this one, fall, the last semester before I graduate (December, YAY!). Here I am, with the same teacher, the same ridiculous syllabus (maybe I'm just stupid, but I thought your last semester was supposed to be fun (magical even, anyone?) Here I am taking a stupid 100 level class with stupid hecka long essays that could be identified as mini-thesis' for those who desire to go into Anthropology for life (don't do it, it's not as magical as course descriptors make it out to be). I've come to terms with this class, I'm doing it, I'm leaving in less than 3 months, life is good. I've now discovered what I hate more than the class, I hate the people in the class! These people are imbeciles! Sometimes I wonder how anyone this inane could have gotten into BYU in the first place (Yeah, I said it). There are the goody-two-shoes that are found in any class and are annoying, but you get used to it. What I really hate are the people who, like me, don't want to be there. The difference between me and them, I silently take it while I look online and check otherstuff in class. These people scoff and scorn and mock the teacher and make me want to stand up and slap them in the face, kick them in the teeth, ultimate punch them into the next life. 90% of the people in the class don't want to be there, we don't need to hear your lame comments, snorts or anything else that comes from you that in no way resembles silence. (I'm done.)

Okay, so there I was kindly switching my ipod (Jean-Bob; he is teeny-weeny) to a new song. I contiplated having him on shuffle, but I wanted to create my own music destiny as I walked from lame Anthropology (the people more than the class) to tiresome work. It was turning into a lovely afternoon, despite the weather becoming frigid causing me to wear two jackets. One of my favorite things in the entire world is to listen to my ipod and then imagine that I am currently experiencing one of those awesome movie moments where there is a sort of music video going on while the heroine is off to conquer the world, get the guy, or escape a fool and purge their own path. You can bet if you see me walking with those ear buds in I'm thinking about camera angles, lighting, how many outfits I'm going to be wearing, what my ultimate goal is and where I am. My moods change with the song, confidence or wariness overcomes and I have a wonderful time.

I was just switching my song to 4ever by The Veronicas and they start getting me pumped pulling me to a distant land when the atrosity happens. The chill in the air creeps into the bones and you realize not fall, but winter is upon us. Sure the leaves are changing, but it rains during fall not leaves ice on the windshields in the morning and burns your hands with cold while the sun pretends he's out and ready to do something. There are fake puddles all around campus. I call them mother fakers because if you see a centimeter deep of liquid you feel that you and your shoes can triumph that puddle and you forge through it. These "puddles" pretend to be fluid and waterlike; then in the split second before you put your foot on them they freeze forming booby traps that only Mr. Snow Miser could have the gall to put there and laugh as the unsuspecting victim takes the slip.

4ever, playing sweetly in my ear, ruined! There I was in front of the library and she slips, falls and undoubtedly is embarrased. Lucky for her I was the one who was closest to her to be the one to offer my sympathy and ask if she was okay. She said something that barely made it to my ears (earbuds, not a mumbler), "Yes, thanks." There I was gallently taking her arm and supporting her into the upright position using my hurt wrist. It may be hurting a little more, but I know it was for a good cause. Not to make a big deal about things, as soon as she was upright I walk away without a second glance, nursing my wrist.

I shall never see that poor victim again, but this goes out to her and to all of those others that have ever fallen due to Mr. Icicle or will ever be the unsuspecting recipient of his next prank. Mr. Ten Below, where ever you are, whatever you do, I will take you down (at least think about it because come on, I'm not living in Utah forever) OR I'll try to be there to help up those that fall to your power. Jerk!

Freud would shake his head in shame...

2008-10-13T00:01:00.000-07:00

I am a strong believer that “A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes”(ish). But what happens when you dream a wish you wish your heart wouldn't make or have worked strongly towards not wanting the dream your heart is wishing for? (ugh!)

Okay, maybe it's not really a wish your heart is making, but dreams definitely represent the subconscious making choices for you and last night the id was making choices that the ego is trying to not have to think about right now, or slightly running away from.

I would divulge my dreams happily right now, but to do so would put me into a compromising position where I lose complete power. In my real life guy trouble is abundant and my dream was showing me three of the guys that are currently (kind of) in my life right now. Nothing bad happened, it was a very clean dream (trust me). I just don't know exactly how to take it.

Look, apparently my mind knows something about the relationships I have with each of these guys and was going to the extreme to explain to me what to do. In my dream I had a very comfortable relationship with Guy A. I knew I could rely on him and I felt safe when I was with him. He's funny, adorable, perfect. Guy B was more of a mystery, the enigma that I still am trying to solve. It was also the more physical relationship(still clean – there are ways of expressing physicality without going straight to the...ahm, you know). Guy C was a fun relationship where we ran around playing games, singing, jumping, etc. Clearly by this, my dream-work analogy (thank you Sigmund), all signs point to Guy A because he contained the good parts of Guys B & C as well as providing something neither of them could.

But is that all that a dream provides, the answers to life's difficulties? And if it were that easy why are there still guy troubles in my life? I guess Guy A needs a little dream-working himself. Maybe I should tell him...(hah!)

Okay, okay, so now that this dream brings up the issue that the guy I need right now is currently unavailable and may not be available for...ever? I am going to take something from this. Guy A is not THE guy I need, BUT I need a guy that possesses those qualities that make him the best choice. (and it wouldn't hurt if he were cute too...)

Present

2008-10-07T19:41:00.000-07:00

Why does our life have to be dictated about what we are doing tomorrow? Isn't it enough that we have something happening right now?

I am constantly being asked what I'll be doing after graduation. I'm tired of it. Why do I have to have my entire life planned out? When I was younger I knew that I was going to college. I never knew where. University just kind of fell into my lap. A lot of things just kind of fell into my lap. I guess I've been lucky so far.

I am happy with my life right now, but when I think about my life tomorrow... that's when things get complicated. Once I pick something it feels like that's it, nothing else. If I decide to get my teaching credentials, I'm a teacher. If I decide to go straight to Grad School, I'm a ...? If I decide to stay home and ponder what I want in life, I'm a bum. I feel that from here on out I need to make my own decisions about everything and I don't want to. (Commitment issues...) I need a sign. Maybe the stars will line up and spell out what I need to do next. Or I can just keep checking my horoscope! (Because those are totally accurate)

Right now, that's how I want to live. I think I deserve it.